DR. WALLACE: I'm a female college student who just turned 21 and I've recently begun dating a very mature, confident and driven 18-year-old guy. We both attend the same university, and we met in the public quad area a month ago.

I actually thought he was about 20 since he looks older than his age, and he acts like a guy who is perhaps 21 or 22. But his 19th birthday is not until March. At least he was fully up-front with me when we first met. He explained that he was in his freshman year at our school, and he went into detail about his educational and life path plans, and they're both quite impressive.

I also happen to have a twin sister who also attends my college, but we don't live together. We both live in dorms on campus, but we are in different buildings a few hundred yards apart. This was set up by design so that we could both meet new people, rather than just hanging out together all the time. We remain close, but we both have our personal space.

However, it did not take my sister long to notice this guy hanging out with me. She saw his freshman-level textbooks, and the first time we were alone she asked me how old he was. I never lie to her, so I told her the truth. She literally laughed in my face and said, "Wait until I tell mom all about this, she'll love it!" This is because my mother always calls herself "the older woman" because she is exactly 12 days older than my father! They also met in college and are basically the same age, even though mom is slightly older, by those 12 days. Now I know I'm in for a lot of harassment as my mom and sister will give me endless ribbing over this relationship.

Yesterday my sister told me she was sorry that she had teased me so much over my new relationship, so she reached into her backpack and took out a small gift and handed it to me. I told her that it wasn't necessary, but she said she wanted to make things up to me. So, I opened the gift and when I lifted the lid on the box, I saw a diaper, a rattle and a pacifier inside. When I looked up, my sister was howling in laughter, to the point of tears forming in her eyes. I was speechless and she just turned and walked away in the direction of her dorm, howling in laughter all the way.

I literally had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I didn't find her gift funny, but I started to realize that I would be endlessly harassed if I continue to date this "younger man." Should I just cut this relationship off now to keep the peace in my family? I have no idea whether a relationship with this guy will go anywhere, but I know for sure that I'll always have a twin sister to deal with. — My Stomach Is in Knots, via email

MY STOMACH IS IN KNOTS: Your sister is way out of line here, not to mention mean-spirited. A quick teasing comment once, and then letting things go would be one thing — but going to the point of spending money to buy you a gag gift and then laughing long and loud in your face is something else altogether.

Don't let her immaturity cause you to adjust the day-to-day flow of your life. You deserve to get to know your new friend better and let the friendship and relationship seek its own level naturally.

I also suggest that you don't try to retaliate against your twin. Simply tell her the next time you see her that she's acting like she's 16 and he acts 22, so it would be wise for her to cool her jets on this issue. I think you should also visit your mother and explain things to her in a preemptive manner so that she won't accidently rub further salt into your wound.

The good news is that with each month and year that passes, the ages of the two of you won't matter much at all. I feel strongly that you should continue to see your friend and simply remind your sister that you'd appreciate a level of maturity that befits her biological age. And here's a final thought: Could it be that your sister is perhaps jealous that you've found someone you are starting to care for?

I FEEL ENTIRELY SHORTCHANGED

DR. WALLACE: I'm so embarrassed! I'm a girl who has been waiting to turn 16 so that I can finally go on dates, but now that the time has arrived, my father has put "training wheels" on me!

He now says that until I'm 16 and a half, I can only date guys at our home or if one of my parents goes with us to chaperone! This is not even like dating at all! My father told me that as time goes by it won't be so bad and that I'll "grow into" being responsible enough to date without a chaperone in six months. Do you think this is fair? My older brother told me that our father just pulled a "bait and switch" on me! Help! — Shortchanged, via email

SHORTCHANGED: Unfortunately for you, your parents get to make the rules in your home. Yes, it was a clever ploy to not tell you that for the first six months you'd need to be in the presence of adults, but had you known, there would have been a lot of friction over that disclosure.

Realize that your parents could have set your dating age at 16.5 or even 17, for example. At least you now know that if the next six months go well, you will get more freedom soon. My advice is to not roil the waters right now. Just roll with things, go on a few dates under your family rules and do nothing that will jeopardize your opportunity to earn the additional freedom you seek a half a year from now.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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