DR. WALLACE: I just turned 20 and my fiance is 21. We want to marry soon, but even though my parents like him a lot, they still try to coerce me to hold off getting married until our mid-20s! I asked my mom what that meant, and she said that she thinks we should wait until I turn 25!

The funny thing is that both my fiance and I get along very well with our future in-laws, and we are both responsible, law-abiding young adults. We each have good jobs and have been saving up to get our own place soon. We each live at home right now.

We want to set a date for this coming summer, perhaps July or August, but my mom is threatening to boycott our wedding if we move ahead this year. His parents have said they will attend and give us their blessing whenever we elect to get married.

The good news is that we are planning a very low-key, low-budget wedding. Even though I'm going to be a bride, I don't need or expect my parents to pay for anything related to my wedding, especially if they don't approve. And by the way, their reasoning is that they saw too many relatives in the past get married too young who were then "stuck" in marriages they really didn't want later. My fiance and I have been dating steadily for two full years now, we know each other really well and this is not a random fling we are experiencing. We are truly in love and a great fit for each other. What should I do about my mom's threat to boycott our nuptials? — In Love and Wish To Marry, via email

IN LOVE AND WISH TO MARRY: Your mother is entitled to her opinion, and she has expressed that to you very thoroughly. To then take her displeasure to the next level by threatening to boycott your wedding is both petty and immature. Who knows if this is just a bluff on her part? You mentioned that your parents like your fiance, so apparently the only sticking point from their perspective is getting married young.

But in any case, I side with you and your fiance on this issue. You've been dating for over two years, and you are both adults. That plus the fact that you are both gainfully employed and have been saving up money for a place of your own demonstrates maturity and financial acumen.

Proceed with your plans and stay cool. Be pleasant with your parents, especially your mother, and move ahead. Keep them in the loop and tell them you hope to see them attend your wedding. As the time draws nearer to your wedding day, their position may well evolve toward acceptance. Don't do anything in the interim that might jeopardize this.

I'VE TRIED MANY, BUT MY CURRENT PLAN WORKS BEST FOR ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm not slim, but I'm not way overweight either. I'm 19 now, and over many years I've tried various diets without anything more than moderate results.

My older sister weighs noticeably less than I do, and she thinks that she's being helpful by always bringing me ideas on the newest, latest, greatest fad diet as if it will perform some sort of miracle adjustment to my body.

I'm comfortable now just maintaining my weight as it is. I eat pretty healthily overall right now, but I do give myself some leeway to eat what I wish to, within reason. I've found that if I'm moderate in my indulgences occasionally, they don't cause me to put on additional weight. This could also be balanced by the excellent aerobic workout program I've stuck with the past two years.

How do I politely tell my big sis that I'm just fine as I am and that I have no interest in her "helpful hints?" I'm completely happy as I am and who I am right now! — Found My Balance, via email

FOUND MY BALANCE: The next time she brings you yet another fad diet idea, simply tell her succinctly what you've basically told me here. Tell her you'll glance at her info but that you've found a plan with exercise that keeps you happily in balance right now.

If you'd like to perhaps get your point across a bit further, you could then smile at her sweetly and ask her if there's an area in her life that she'd like you to keep a lookout for new information on that could be "helpful" for her. Perhaps she'll catch on to your subtle message and the two of you will find a nice sibling balance as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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