DR. WALLACE: I'm a really good piano player and am only 16 years old. I've been playing since I was 5! This is fine and I enjoy having a skill that may get me paid jobs at some point in my life.

My parents are both musicians, but not piano players. My mother is a concert violinist and my father is a jazz drummer. Music has always been very important to our family, so it's natural for my parents to have many personal friends who are also accomplished musicians.

One of their friends is a world-class pianist and he performs to great adulation all over the world. The other day my father took me in his car over to this man's house to drop off some paperwork regarding a music arrangement both he and my father are working on. While we were there, my father asked me to sit down at his very expensive and very personal grand piano in this man's living room. My father asked me to play the latest piece I had recently learned. I immediately felt very out of place and uncomfortable.

I balked and told my father, right in front of this man, that it was inappropriate for me to sit at his personal piano. The man immediately said it was all right with him, but I still refused to budge and finally the man told my father it was not necessary for them to put me on the spot on such short notice. So, after a few more minutes we left this home, and I never did play there. On the ride home my father was very upset with me and he told me that I had just missed out on a great opportunity to play before this famous man.

I wouldn't mind having this man in the audience to see me play at one of my public recitals, for example. I just did not feel at all comfortable sitting down at his personal, famous grand piano and starting to play it in his home. Was my father right that I was out of line not to have at least played one or two songs on it? — I Felt Quite Intimidated, via email

I FELT QUITE INTIMIDATED: I agree with you on this particular incident, especially since your father "sprung" this request on you with no notice, and right in front of this famous, talented man.

This also was not likely a "once in a lifetime opportunity" that you missed. Your father knows this man personally, works with him and will likely see him many more times over the coming years.

Therefore, there are likely going to be other opportunities to visit this man's home in the future. As you age and become an even better player, you may feel more comfortable playing this man's grand piano some other time in the future. I suggest you mention to your father the exact reasons you did not want to proceed that evening. Do tell your father that you'd be fine having this man in one of your future regular audiences during one of your performances. This may quell your father's angst for the time being and also bring him into the picture of exactly how you feel.

HE'S GONE AND NOW HIS COMMUNICATION IS VERY WEAK

DR. WALLACE: I dated a guy for nearly a year before he left America to join his birth nation's military. Before he left, which was nearly six months ago, he told me that he'd keep in close touch with me because he loved me so much. He also said that he would "count the days" until he could return to my side. This all sounded good at the time, but other than the first two weeks he was gone, his communication has been sparse and random to say the least.

I often message him, email him or even try to call him, but I get no reply for days, or even several weeks. And when he does finally reply, he has some strange excuse and he barely says anything of value in the communication anyway. I've been really in love with this guy for nearly two years now. How can I best keep my hopes up and feel close to him while he's gone? I don't want to give up on him just because he does not get back to me much anymore. What do you suggest I do from here? — Lovesick and Lonesome, via email

LOVESICK AND LONESOME: I believe you should focus more on what he is saying (or not saying) to you when those random replies finally come back to you. If he went into how much he missed you, loved you and wanted to see you again, that would be one thing, but your own words to me indicate that "he barely says anything of value" back to you anyhow once you do finally hear back from him.

You should also realize that he may or may not ever return from his home country to America at this point. He's obviously busy and has put his emotional connection to you in the backseat of his present priorities.

Since you are lonesome, I advise you to move on with your dating life and don't simply wait to hear back from him for weeks at a time. Get involved socially again, even slowly, so that you can focus on what is in front of you rather than what is not. Life moves on and we all only have so many days, months and years to live and enjoy our time. Get busy being sociable and keep him in a far corner of your mind from here, not in the "front and center" position. You don't have to give up on him entirely, but you need to live your life right now in his absence. If he never steps up to return back to you, then you'll be happy you started moving on when you did. And if by chance he does return and hopes to see you, that would be an issue you could deal with at that time. I feel your current approach should be to not expect to see him again, but if he does return — and you wish to see him at that time — it would be a bonus for you rather than your only social option.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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