DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a guy for three months now, and even though we get along pretty well on a day-to-day basis, I'm really not sure if we are a great fit for a longer-term type of relationship. We are both freshmen in college who went to two different nearby high schools, so I've only known him since I started college.

There are times that I think I might end things with him, but then again, there are instances when my mind tells me to give him some more time so that I can see how things progress for us together.

However, last weekend we went out for an afternoon of shopping and lunch at the nearby mall, and over lunch he gave me a small box. I opened it and there was a ring inside! It looked a bit expensive since it had a few very small diamonds on it, but not large ones like a wedding ring would have.

I was shocked he would give me this, and when I asked him why and what it was for, he casually told me that it was simply a "friendship ring" since he considered me a good friend at this point in his life. I held onto it but did not put it on right then.

Now I'm wondering what to do with it! I don't like the pressure this ring makes me feel at the moment. I'm still sorting through our relationship and although I like him a lot, I don't want to signal to him that our relationship is already on a long-term trajectory.

What can I do? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't want to wear a ring at this point either. — Surprised by the Ring, via email

SURPRISED BY THE RING: One of the main hallmarks of a good relationship is honest, yet tactful communication. I suggest therefore, based upon your feelings, that you tell him truthfully that you'd feel a bit awkward and rushed wearing any type of ring this soon into your relationship.

Tell him that you truly appreciate his gift and that, if it's all right with him, you'll hold onto it for now without wearing it. This stance could give you more time without having to reject his gift. Giving him the ring back immediately may end or severely damage your relationship going forward. There will be other opportunities to either wear it comfortably if you later feel like doing so, or to return it to him with a hug and a kiss on cheek in the future, depending on where things go from here.

I believe this ring will cause you to truly evaluate your present relationship a bit more urgently in due course. Give it a chance and do all you can to move it forward in the way you best see fit, or be fair to him and let him know if you do realize that it's time to move on.

I'M CRUSHED AND CONFUSED BY HIS SUDDEN PIVOT

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and work for a large national company. I met a really great guy at our national trade show booth recently, and we went out on two great dates in the major city the conference was held,

We then returned to our respective cities that are over 2,000 miles apart. We promised to stay in touch, and he even told me that he thought he might get transferred to my area this summer. We were texting each other several times a day and speaking with each other for an hour on the phone every weekend.

But yesterday he asked me not to call or text him anymore. He said that he's met someone special in his city and he does not want to lie to her about communicating with me behind her back.

How could he go from seemingly being so interested in me to cutting me off totally in one day? I'm crushed and just don't understand how this is possible — Crushed and Confused, via email

CRUSHED AND CONFUSED: Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain even for couples that have been together for several months or even years in some cases. So, it's a reality that your "relationship" of only two dates during a trade show in a city that neither of you lived in was fragile and quite vulnerable to being replaced by new in-person local opportunities with potentially compatible partners.

Give yourself grace for building this brief opportunity up in your mind to be more than it actually was. His blunt request to cut off communications indicates that his connection with you from a distance was not enough to hold his attention. I highly doubt he'll be transferring to your area soon, so it's best to learn from this experience. Move ahead boldly with the long-term wisdom you've gained here amid the temporary pain you presently feel.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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