DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and live at home with my mother and my 8-year-old sister. My mom works two jobs as a single parent to cover all of our living expenses.

My problem is that I have a lot of chores and responsibilities at home that I must do each week since I'm the oldest daughter and my sister can only do a few small things. I do get an allowance, but it is only about $25 a week, since I get $100 when my mother gets paid at the end of each month. My mom is great. I love her so much, and she loves us girls a whole lot, too, but my allowance is really skimpy for a girl my age.

I don't mind helping my mom out with all of the chores at our house, since I know she works really hard at her jobs, but the truth of the matter is I'm grossly underpaid. All of my other girlfriends at school get allowances, typically at least $50 a week or more. Some get well over $100 a week! I feel left out. There are a lot of activities I can't attend since I don't have the money to go with my friends to music events, movies or other things we like to spend money on.

Is there anything I can do about this situation, or should I just accept my fate that I'll always have to miss out on about half the social events that my other circle of friends regularly attends? — One broke girl, via email

ONE BROKE GIRL: First of all, I commend both you and your mother for working hard to keep all the wheels turning at your family household. Your mother is obviously doing everything in her power to provide a stable, steady, loving home for you and your sister — and you do a lot of chores to help your mother and sister out around your home as well. It's great that you all pull together and work as a unit.

So, your challenge is entirely financial. Along this path, you might have some options. A girl your age is usually a candidate to become a babysitter, and babysitting jobs usually pay pretty well these days.

Another possibility would be to see if you could do any part-time piecework at home for any local business that may need it. Your mom might authorize you to work a few hours on the weekend at a local store, such as a pet store, if that might interest you. Sit down with your mother and explain that you are happy to keep working hard around the house to help your family out, but that she would like an opportunity to earn a little extra money on your own to extend your social life just a bit more. I trust that between the two of you, you'll find a suitable part-time job that may enable you to earn the extra cash you would like to have. I also highly recommend asking your mom to set you up with a savings account at a local bank so that you can begin to save a portion of your earnings and build what will hopefully become a lifelong habit of putting away a portion of all of your earnings for future savings and emergency purposes.

WE GET MIXED SIGNALS

DR. WALLACE: I love my parents a lot. They are both great people and they each have great careers and are solid people in their own right. That's the good news. The bad news is they often disagree on issues involving my siblings or me when it comes to behavior or activities we wish to participate in.

Without getting into a lot of details, let's just say that our father will sometimes tell us to do one thing and our mother will tell us to do another. I'm the oldest sibling, so I'm writing to you about this matter.

It seems that we are often getting mixed signals. No matter what we do, one parent is upset with us, and our parents argue with each other over the issues they disagree upon. What, if anything, can we do about this? — Confused kid, via email

CONFUSED KID: Thank you for taking the time to write to me about this issue. The situation happens occasionally in many families but obviously not to the extent that you're outlining in your letter. You should attempt as a first step to hold a family meeting and tell both of your parents that you want to follow their rules and guidance but you are finding it impossible to do so in the current environment. Look them both in the eyes and ask them for help with this matter.

It's possible your family may be able to make suitable progress on your own. If the problem persists, your family may benefit from professional counseling. The good news is that by taking the first step, you will have brought this issue to the forefront, which will hopefully start your family on a path toward resolution.

Parents should never give children mixed signals when it comes to activities or behavior — intentionally or unintentionally.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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