DR. WALLACE: My older sister has recently been taking some "self-improvement" courses online, and I hear her listening to a podcast on this same topic sometimes. I'm 15, and she's 18, and she kind of thinks she knows a lot about the world and how it works. She's nice enough most of the time, but it just seems like there are times she has a condescending attitude, like she's a bit of a know-it-all.

So, her new thing she sprung on me last week is to tell me that I don't have any positive self-esteem. She claims that I only have two close friends and that I should have closer to two dozen good friends. She then goes on and on about all the people she knows who like her and invite her out to do things socially.

I feel I am very much like a lot of other boys my age, but we generally hang out in groups of two or three at the most, and we get to know and rely upon our close friends pretty well.

I feel I'm well-adjusted and that most people like and respect me, especially the ones that know my character pretty well. Do I really need to worry about my self-esteem like my sister says, or can I just go back to my life and write this off as another one of her "phases"? Right now I feel happy with personality, my friends and my life. What's up with this whole self-esteem issue? — Happy Younger Brother, via email

HAPPY YOUNGER BROTHER: Self-esteem is loosely defined as how you feel about yourself. When someone has positive self-esteem, this person has self-confidence. When a person has low self-esteem, he or she may not feel worthy of being accepted or even loved. For example, they may say or feel, "I'm not very smart" or, "Nobody likes me".

All humans have some degree of weakness and some degree of strength. Based on what you have written here, I'd say you have good self-esteem and you seem to be a very well-adjusted young man. Your sister may be the type of individual who always likes to follow new ideas and fads and to discuss them as a matter of inflating her own ego or, yes, her own self-esteem.

My advice would be to tell your sister whenever she brings this topic up that you're very impressed with her self-esteem and that since she's mentioned this topic to you, you now feel your own self-esteem has been greatly elevated! Smile at her sincerely, and walk to your room. We can keep this discussion here in this column as our little secret and everyone should be happy!

HOW TO BEST SPEND FREE TIME?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 years old, and I have some free time these days after I finish all of my homework. Since my social life has dropped down to almost nothing due to COVID-19, I want to know what's a better use of my time: to get a part-time job or volunteer my services to a charitable organization? — Seeking New Adventures, via email

SEEKING NEW ADVENTURES: At this time, volunteer work may be much easier to find than a paying job. Volunteering can be done in smaller doses and with less of a time commitment as well, so that might be a good way for you to start using some of your free time.

I want to commend you for thinking seriously about your free time and how you plan to use it. And when the time comes for you to work a part-time job, you can add your volunteer work to your resume. This will indicate your character and earnestness in working to help others. Many of your future potential employers will likely find this to be a great trait, since teamwork and cooperation are almost always hallmarks of starter jobs for teens or young adults.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: tatyanaBuzmakova_Krasnova at Pixabay