DR. WALLACE: My younger brother and I are always arguing about everything that happens, seemingly on a daily basis. I've asked my parents to help me out, but they always just say, "You guys just have to work it out yourselves."

Well, so far, this hasn't worked out for us. We are in each other's faces almost every afternoon or evening since we are cooped up at home due to COVID-19. Do you have any suggestions for how my brother and I can avoid lighting the fuse every single day? It's exhausting, but I can't stand the thought of letting him get away with stuff he knows is totally wrong. — Mired in Sibling Rivalry, via email

MIRED IN SIBLING RIVALRY: A good way to solve family issues is to have a family meeting once a week with all family members in attendance. During this meeting, you and your family can discuss problems and disagreements and find reasonable solutions.

Honest and open family communication can keep minor issues from becoming major confrontations and problems. Go to your parents by yourself first. Tell them that the problems you two brothers are experiencing are truly demoralizing and unhealthy. Let them know that you're not solely blaming your brother; admit you are to blame as well. Explain that you feel the two of you need help to move past the arguments that continue to occur.

I trust your parents will take your discussion much more seriously when you admit your role in continuing the arguments, especially once you demonstrate that you were quite sincere in trying to avoid the multiple recurrences you find so troublesome.

Do your best to stay calm and be honest once the discussion with your brother and your parents finally takes place. Remember that a calm, measured approach is a much better way to resolve a conflict then to continually blame the other person in an agitated manner.

I WANT JAVA!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 years old, and I've noticed my mother and my father drink at least four cups of coffee every day. I know that Starbucks is very popular with most adults, college students and even some older teenagers.

I've had a drink from there before, but it was mostly sugar with cream on top. I like their fancy, sweet drinks with blended ice that look kind of like smoothies but have some coffee in them.

I want to know when can I safely start drinking regular, hot, black coffee like my parents do? Is coffee good for young teens like me, or could it be harmful? I've had those sweet coffee drinks before, but I now want to move on to some hot coffee to warm me up in the morning. It always smells so good in our kitchen because my mom loves fresh, dark roasts. — Desperately Seeking Java, via email

DESPERATELY SEEKING JAVA: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, adolescents ages 12 to 18 should limit their daily caffeine intake to one cup of coffee or three 12-ounce sodas that contain caffeine. For children under 12, there is no designated safe threshold.

Since you're now 14, you might ask your mother if you can start with a small bit of coffee to warm you up this winter in the morning. Even a third to half a cup might be appropriate to start with. This is your parents' decision, so perhaps you can go online with them to look up some facts about coffee and young teens so they can read a few of the studies that are readily available on this topic.

The maximum caffeine intake for a teenager should fall in the range of no more than 85 to 100 milligrams per day; a half-cup in the morning should be fine for you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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