DR. WALLACE: I've had a best friend since our days in kindergarten as very little girls, and we're now both older teenagers. Obviously, we have a lot in common, and we care about each other's feelings. We've gotten along great over the years, and I'd say that she's my best friend for sure.

Well, two months ago, my best friend started dating a guy, and she miraculously became an instant flake. What I mean by this is that anytime we have plans, it seems she might cancel them at the last moment! It could be an hour or less before we are supposed to meet somewhere in person, or even when we are talking on the phone, and she will drop me instantly to talk to her boyfriend whenever he calls her.

I feel like my long-standing friendship with her has been replaced by this new relationship of hers, and my feelings are hurt as a result.

I'm shocked because we had talked about this very topic in detail prior to either one of us beginning to date boys. We even went so far as to make a pact that we wouldn't let our friendship suffer or change because of a guy that either one of us might be interested in.

So now what can I do about this? I really want to know why she has changed so very much — Sidelined Friend, via email

SIDELINED FRIEND: I think it's time the two of you girls have a heart-to-heart talk about the nature of this situation.

Gently remind her of the pact, and let her honestly know how you feel. Mention that you feel she needs to respect the plans that you have made with her in advance and not to cancel at the last minute.

If she won't do that, stop making plans with her, at least for the time being. This does not mean that you girls won't still be good friends or be going on social outings together in the future, but it will send her a message for the time being that she needs to think about her behavior and earn back your trust.

Start talking to your other friends, and make social plans with them to fill the void in your social schedule. Don't rely solely on your best friend to make you feel complete.

PLEASE SETTLE A DEBATE

DR. WALLACE: I want you to weigh in on a family argument or, shall I say, disagreement on a topic we are currently debating within our home. Which do you feel is the more serious problem among teens: drugs or alcohol?

My parents say drugs are a bigger problem because they have a cocktail every once in a while and feel alcohol is no big deal. I guess my parents are in the lucky category when it comes to drinking alcohol, as they are social drinkers only. They drink a little here and there, but neither one of my parents has had any deep problem with alcohol, and they have never broken any laws due to it, either.

I personally think alcohol is a bigger problem and more serious because it's easier to get since it is so socially acceptable and readily available. Your vote will be our tiebreaker, so what do you think? — Home Debate Club, via email

HOME DEBATE CLUB: Both drug and alcohol abuse are serious teen problems — but I do feel alcohol is worse due to the volume of teens I have seen it impact over the years. I have plenty of support with this stance, including the wonderful advocates at the national organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

I will also mention that drug abuse is horrible as well, and those truly addicted also face tough lives, bodily harm and even death due to their drug addictions. Several of the drug cases I've counseled have been truly horrific, but then again, so have some of the drunk driving consequences I've seen.

For me, the tiebreaker comes down to volume, and sadly, alcohol is the big winner — or, shall I say, loser — when it comes to teens and young adults, especially in regards to some high school and college students.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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