DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and need your advice. I met a guy at a party and he asked me to go out with him. Since he was cute and seemed to have a great personality, I said yes. We went out three times, and the last two times, we had sex. Then he called and said he wasn't going to see me anymore, but his best friend would be calling me. This guy actually encouraged me to go out with his friend!
I have met "the friend" several times. He seems nice and is even cuter than the first guy. I like to go out with him, but I think Boy A has told Boy B that he had sex with me and the only reason "B" wants to go out with me is to have sex. Should I go out with Guy B if he asks me out? — Anonymous, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
ANONYMOUS: Your instincts are almost certainly right. "A" has bragged to "B" about the sex, and now B wants to join the fun. So my advice is if "B" calls, give him the brushoff.
Wise up, young lady. One of the fastest ways to end a relationship with a boy is to become sexually active as a teenager. I receive hundreds of letters yearly from girls who wonder why guys leave them after they have given in to the guy's sexual advances. Certain guys enjoy the thrill of the hunt; after they get with they want, they move on. Most of these same guys have big mouths and big egos and find it macho to "kiss and tell." It's obvious Boy A is one of these guys.
When teenage girls have premarital sex, they have little to gain and much more to lose than their reputations and their boyfriends. They could get a devastating sexually transmitted disease or wind up alone and pregnant. Both possibilities will leave scars that often last a lifetime.
MIDDLE SCHOOL BOYS "EAT LIKE PIGS"
DR. WALLACE: I attend a middle school of seventh-, eighth- and ninth-grade students. I'm in the seventh grade, but I totally ignore all the boys because they are so immature. I'd like to have a boyfriend, but I guess I'll just have to wait until I'm in high school. All of my girlfriends feel the same way.
Most of the boys at our school run in the halls, yell at each other, eat like pigs in the cafeteria, rarely take a shower and try to dress cool and mod, but they actually look stupid. Also, most of them don't appear to do much homework. Ugh! I can't wait until we have a female president. — Anonymous, Brooklyn, New York
ANONYMOUS: It's true that girls mature both mentally and physically before boys, but Mother Nature is fair and allows boys to catch up with girls by about age 15 or so. But there are always exceptions. I'm sure some of the boys who are your age are capable of meeting your high standards. You just haven't been looking hard enough. Start by joining clubs and spending some time in the school library. There might be a boy out there who will surprise you in a good way.
YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
DR WALLACE: I'm 13 and consider Janelle to be my girlfriend. She likes me, and I like her. But now, I've got a problem. About a month ago, a new student started attending our school. This new student happened to be a girl and the word has come to me that she really likes me and wants me to be her boyfriend. What should I do? She is very good looking and smart. — Anonymous, Hammond, Indiana
ANONYMOUS: First of all, let me assure you that you don't have a problem. Get the "word" to the new young lady that you are presently directing all of your attention toward someone else. Stay with the relationship you are in and give that relationship the attention and nurturing it deserves. In the future, should there be a time that you are time "unattached," then and only then should you consider what the future may bring in terms of a new relationship.
Treat Janelle the way you would like to be treated yourself in terms of a friendship or relationship.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.