DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and my life was very pleasant until my grandmother came to live with us six months ago, after my grandfather died. My mom decided against putting her mother in a nursing home and it seemed the right thing to do at the time. But now everything is changed and although I know Grandmother can't live alone, I really think everyone would benefit if she were living in a nursing home.

It's impossible to get along with my grandmother even though I have tried desperately to please her. She complains about my music, my choice of clothes, my makeup and hairstyle, the food I eat — even my friends and my boyfriend. She criticizes everything I do. She even snoops through my room when I'm not home. (My little sister told me.) Grandmother is always telling my mother that I'm a juvenile delinquent.

She's completely mistaken. I'm on the honor roll and president of the pep club at school. I teach Sunday school at my church and get along nicely with the little kids. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, use foul language, or engage in sexual activity. In fact, I'm a pretty straight-laced teen-ager and my parents, on numerous occasions, have said they're very proud of me.

When I talk to my parents about this, they just make excuses for her, saying she's an old lady (she's 75) who doesn't realize she's offending me. They tell me to ignore what she says and I've tried to, but it's very hard to overlook Grandmother's sharp tongue. She's getting on my nerves all the time. Help! — Nameless, New Orleans, La.

NAMELESS: Ignoring your grandmother's sharp tongue is obviously easier said than done. Your parents are ducking the problem. Your mom has to take matters in hand and tell Grandmother to lay off you. She's not your parent and has no say in your choice of friends, food or clothing.

Be sure Mom makes it clear to Grandmother how proud she is of you and your accomplishments. Grandmother needs to get the message: If she can't say something nice to brighten people's day, she should keep her mouth shut and smile.

You and your family love your grandmother very much and have welcomed her into your home, but she must not be permitted to make your life miserable.

WHAT IS A SOCIAL DRINKER?

DR. WALLACE: My parents consume more alcohol than I think they should. All they keep telling me is that they're social drinkers, like millions of Americans. Please tell me what a social drinker is. I want to discuss this with them! - Trennie, Oakland, Calif.

TRENNIE: Washington University in St. Louis conducted a study on the drinking habits of over 1,200 people and came up with this definition: A social drinker does not have any social, medical, legal or work-related problems due to the consumption of alcohol and has gone more than a month, twice a year, without consuming one drink.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.