DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and my fiance is 21. We are planning to be married but we haven't set a date yet. He definitely wants it to be sometime this year. I do care for him very much, and, for the most part, he is a good guy.

His major flaw is that he is extremely jealous and possessive of me. I'm considered a good-looking young lady, and lots of guys stare at me for a moment or two. When this happens, he gets mad and sometimes, he almost starts a fight with the guy who stares a bit too long. When we are together, I'm very careful not to even glance at one of these guys. He even is upset if my boss calls me at my house about something at the office. He sometimes apologizes for his behavior and promises not to let it happen again, but it always does.

Yesterday we had a long discussion about this "problem." He admits he has a jealous streak that's hard to control but he promises to cool it after we are married. He says that "Then I'll know you're all mine."

I've also talked about this problem with my mom and she thinks his problem is very serious and that I should not marry him at all. Do you think that it's possible for him to change after we're married or will he always be like this? I really need your advice. — Nameless, Olympia, Wash.

NAMELESS: I've never subscribed to the theory that a person's psychological problem will vanish after a wedding ceremony. In fact, many times these same flaws intensify after saying "I do."

Since he admits he has a psychological problem, I'd encourage him to seek treatment before you even consider setting a wedding date. Jealousy and possessiveness are serious psychological concerns that can be fatal if untreated.

P.S.: I like your mother's suggestion better than mine!

HE'S TAKING HIS JOB TOO SERIOUSLY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and dating a guy who is probably the smartest student in my school. My best friend is planning to go to college (I'm not), so she is really into getting good grades. Whenever she needs help, she always calls my guy.

That isn't exactly what bothers me. What really bothers me is that many times he goes over to her house and "helps" her for hours. Those two spend more time together than either of them spend with me. Last Sunday afternoon I wanted to go to a movie with him, but we didn't go because he promised my friend he'd help her with her English research paper.

I've voiced my unhappiness to both of them about their study habits, but they both think I'm being supersensitive. I don't believe that. I think my friend is taking advantage of my guy's generosity, and he is so proud of his intelligence that he is oblivious to the fact that he and I are supposed to be a couple.

Please give me your comments, even if you agree with my "friends." — Nameless, Providence, R.I.

NAMELESS: It's honorable that your boyfriend is such an efficient tutor, but somehow I'm getting the feeling that he is taking his job a bit too seriously. I agree with you!

If those lengthy study sessions don't shrink drastically, and soon, say goodbye to both of them because she really wasn't a friend, and neither was he.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.