DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and dating a guy I really, really like. We always have fun together and when we're out on a date he always treats me like a lady. My problem is that when we're alone he becomes sexually aggressive. When he brings me home after a date, he almost always makes unwelcome advances. I'm not really prudish, but I am definitely not ready to have sex with anybody.

I know what you will tell me to do, and I guess that's the encouragement that will make me feel better about all this. I need all the help I can get before I'm driven to just break up with a really nice guy (except for his one little flaw.)

Seeing your advice in the newspaper will help me as well as a lot of girls in the same situation. Thanks for your advice! — Nameless, Brunswick, Ga.

NAMELESS: Of course I'm going to tell you to hang in there, but better yet, I'd like you to read the following letter from a girl who had a similar concern.

I FEEL USED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and thought I had found my one true love. He was handsome, intelligent and a star football player. We started dating after the football season ended, and by Christmas we were dating steadily. He told me that he loved me, and I know I loved him. We always had wonderful times together except for one bothersome thing. He was sexually aggressive even on our very first date. I thought I could get him to mellow out, but I was wrong. For the next four months I had to fight him off on almost every date.

Finally, after a really romantic evening he convinced me that we truly loved each other and that the ultimate love was sharing sex. He was very convincing and he also knew I definitely did not want to get pregnant. So, to my surprise, he came prepared with a condom! I was a virgin at the time and very nervous about the whole thing. I knew that I should be fighting him off as usual, but I guess I wasn't in the fighting mood.

That was only the beginning and after that we had sex every time we went out together. Eventually, we never went anywhere else except the back of his van. No more fun times, no more movies, eating out or going bowling.

Then after we had sex one night a few weeks later, he said he wasn't going to be seeing me any more since he was working out for his senior year in football so he could get a football scholarship to a big-time college. And when I asked him if he still loved me, he didn't answer me, so I knew that his answer was "No."

I know all this was my own fault, and I'm pretty disappointed with myself, so I can't really be mad at him. But to be honest, I feel used, and I probably was. I'm writing to you because I hope other girls who find themselves in similar situations will think twice about, it and think of me. — Nameless, Dallas, Texas.

TEEN GIRLS SMOKE MORE THAN TEEN BOYS

DR. WALLACE: Last week I went out with a guy who got upset when I lit up a cigarette. I thought he knew I smoked, but I threw the cigarette away and didn't light up again. Now I'm thinking that he probably won't ask me out again since he doesn't smoke. I've dated other guys who didn't smoke, but they didn't care if I did. Was it wrong for me to light up? — Sara, Mobile, Ala.

SARA: You should have said, "Do you mind if I light a cigarette?" The days of casually lighting up are over. In fact, the majority of guys prefer that their dates do not smoke.

An American Lung Association survey of teens found that 78 percent of the guys prefer to date nonsmokers, and only 1 percent would rather date a smoker. The other 21 percent said it didn't matter if the girl smoked. In the same survey of 12th grade students, 20 percent of the girls smoke while only 16 percent of the boys smoked.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.