DR. WALLACE: Is it possible for two people of different faiths to have a successful marriage, even if both sets of parents are against the marriage? This is our situation. I'm a Southern Baptist and my boyfriend is Jewish. The thing that we have going for each other is that we share unconditional love and mutual respect. Already we are "soul mates." Our church and synagogue leaders have advised us of the problems we face when we get married. We have yet to meet the person who has said, "Go for it!

I'm not asking you to say that. But I'd like any statistics you might have on different-faith marriages. — Hessie, Atlanta, Ga.

HESSIE: It's possible for people of different faiths to have a successful marriage. Unconditional love overcomes all obstacles.

According to author Janice Kaplan, current estimates show that one out of two Catholics, one out of two Protestants and one out of four Jews will marry outside their faith. While many marriage counselors, parents and clergy oppose interfaith marriages, the trend seems to be growing.

This probably has more to do with people's increased mobility than their abandonment of childhood faith. Young adults who move often or leave home for college are more likely to meet people of different backgrounds. Also, few communities are religiously homogeneous anymore, so even high school students living at home have the opportunity to form bonds with people of other religions.

When 200 teenage girls were asked their opinions on religion and dating in a teen magazine survey, an astonishing 97 percent said religious influences may have a greater impact when it comes to marriage.

The key to a successful interfaith marriage is a mutual commitment to respect completely each other's convictions and traditions without putting pressure on a mate to convert.

IT WILL TAKE 6 MONTHS TO BE TOBACCO-FREE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and quit smoking "cold turkey" after smoking over a pack a day for four years. My problem is that I've been very grouchy around my parents and my girlfriend ever since. They are all happy that I quit, but they are wondering if the "real me" will ever resurface.

And that's my problem. I still have a really strong urge to light up, and so far, I've been just barely able to resist the urge. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to tackle and I need some encouragement. Can you help? — Marv, Elizabethtown, Ky.

MARV: As you are experiencing, nicotine withdrawal is a most powerful force, but day by day it does abate. The first few weeks after you quit smoking are always the most difficult ones and since you are on the road to success you must hang in there for a little longer. When you make the effort to beat this habit you will be happy that you did!

After a month of being smoke-free, your desire to smoke will be about 80 percent gone and in two months, you might have a slight urge to have "one for the road," but you won't. In six short months, you will be a complete and confident nonsmoker who detests secondhand smoke. As a nonsmoker, you can look forward to a much healthier life. You will also have more money in your wallet with which to enjoy that healthy life.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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