DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and a senior in high school. I take part in school activities and have a lot of friends at school. My parents were divorced last year, and I decided to live with my mother because I think my father is to blame for the split.

My mother has a boyfriend. He's a nice man and I like him very much. He's from California and plans to move to the Los Angeles area in a month. My mother will move too, and they want me to go with them. I love my mom, but I want to stay here and graduate with my classmates. The only problem is that I'd have to live with my father, whom I don't respect. Please tell me your thoughts on this and help me to make this difficult decision. Thank you. — Nameless, Seattle, Wash.

NAMELESS: I usually encourage parents to let their children graduate with their classmates, if at all possible. In your case, however, I don't think it would work, since you have no relative with whom you could stay other than your father. You're faced with a dilemma that has no ideal solution, but I do think the better course of action is to move to California with your mother.

CONTACT THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE ON DRUG ABUSE

DR. WALLACE: My parents suspect that my 19-year-old brother is using cocaine because he has been acting very weird lately and my mother found a white powder substance in his room. She flushed the stuff down the toilet. We have talked to my brother about his possible cocaine use, but he denies it. All he'll admit to is smoking pot once in a while.

We need to know the symptoms of cocaine use so that we can get help for him if he's using it. Can you help us? — Anne, Indianapolis, Ind.

ANNE: Regular cocaine users have a difficult time sleeping and usually lose their appetite. Cocaine initially elevates one's mood, temporarily filling the user with a sense of exhilaration and well-being. As this effect wears off, however, the user slides into a depression that is characterized by feelings of dullness or tension and edginess.

It is extremely difficult for someone hooked on cocaine to overcome his addiction without help from a treatment program. I would suggest you call the information and treatment referral hotline of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, at (800) 662-HELP.

I'M 13 AND LIVE A SHELTERED LIFE

DR. WALLACE: I read in a teen magazine that Ecstasy is the most popular drug used at rave parties. I live in a very small town, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know what Ecstasy is and I've never heard of a rave party. Please tell me. I'm 14 years old and live a very sheltered life. — Nameless, Cedar Lake, Ind.

NAMELESS: Don't be embarrassed. It would be great if no one knew about Ecstasy and rave parties.

Ecstasy is a synthetic hallucinogenic drug and is popular to drug users because of its ample availability and its low price. Constant use of Ecstasy can cause brain damage. Any dose can cause anxiety, nausea, sweating, teeth clenching and muscle cramping, and in some cases, even death.

Raves are late-night parties held in barns, warehouses, or other abandoned structures that can hold a large group of people. Besides dancing, drug usage (including Ecstasy) is prevalent at rave parties.

You would be extremely wise to avoid being anywhere near such a gathering.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.