Usually when one of our appliances dies, we get some kind of warning. When the dishwasher went, it started flooding. When the refrigerator's time was up, it started slowly getting warmer. And we knew the oven's days were numbered when it started smoking and I wasn't even cooking anything.

But there was no sign that our microwave was on its last coil until it simply went kaput.

This is what they call in the industry, just plain SAD (Sudden Appliance Death).

Since it was a relatively new and rather expensive microwave, I was hopeful that maybe we could save it. With hope in my heart, I called our go-to appliance fix-it guy, Larry.

Me: Hey, Larry, I think our microwave is broken.

Larry: What's going on?

Me: It's not cooking anything. Can you come over and fix it?

Larry: No.

Me: Why not?

Larry: In my experience, microwaves don't break. They just die.

Me: Can't you use a defibrillator or something?

Larry: Read it its last rites and go get a new microwave.

I stubbornly refused to believe our microwave was dead. I wondered if maybe it was in a coma or had post-traumatic microwave syndrome from the last time I accidentally tried to cook something in aluminum foil. But eventually I had to admit it was beyond saving, or even reheating, and I called it.

Me: Time of death: 3:39 p.m.

Larry: Can I interest you in a convection oven?

Me: That's harsh, Larry. The microwave's not even cold yet.

Since I had to have dinner on the table in three hours and I don't ever actually cook anything (I just warm things up), I realized I needed to get a new microwave fast. I headed over to our local appliance store and told them my tale of woe.

The appliance guy (who was also named Larry) shook his head.

"Sounds like the magnetron died," he declared.

I stared blankly at him.

"The 'magnetron'?" I echoed back. "What is that, like, a Transformer? Did Optimus Prime kill it?"

He stared blankly back at me.

"You know, I think that actually happened in the movie 'Transformers 3,'" I continued. "Shia LaBeouf cooked one of the little Transformers in a microwave and it burned out the magnetron."

He shook his head.

"No, you're thinking of 'Gremlins,' when they cook one of the evil gremlins in the microwave."

"I think that was a blender," I argued.

"It was both," he declared.

I thought about this useless bit of movie trivia and decided that if there was any hope of heating up a dinner tonight, we probably needed to move on.

"So, how exactly does a magnetron in a microwave die, anyway?" I asked Larry, the appliance guy.

He looked at me suspiciously. "It happens If the microwave is turned on when it's empty."

It took me a minute for this accusation to sink in.

"So, you're saying I killed the microwave, Larry?" I responded.

"Possibly," he said. "Or maybe it was gremlins."

Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, "Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble," available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online! You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com. To find out more about Tracy Beckerman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: IdaT at Pixabay