Dear Family Coach: My extended family always does a huge Christmas celebration together. We travel far and wide and everyone brings the presents to a central location. In the morning all the kids rush to open their gifts together. This year my husband lost his job and we are struggling. I can barely afford presents for my kids, let alone my nieces and nephews. I feel so depressed and embarrassed about the situation that I don't want to go to be with the family. Is it wrong if we skip it this year? —So Sad Mom

Dear So Sad: It isn't wrong, so to speak, to skip the celebration. But it would be a mistake. Staying home punishes you and the children. It robs you of the love and support you need this time of year. And it makes Christmas all about the gifts. Seriously, if there are no gifts then there should be no celebration? Of course not.

There are ways you can handle this situation that will eliminate the awkwardness and/or pain. First, talk to the adults. Explain your situation, and see if they'd consider dialing back on the amount of gifts, or perhaps doing a holiday grab bag where each person purchases a single present for a random child. Maybe they'd be OK with setting a price limit. The point is, this is your family, and they will almost certainly understand. We all go through tough times. All of us.

This will be a hard Christmas for you. You will probably cry when the children are opening their gifts. So what? Sometimes life is hard. There's no shame in that. Now go hold your head high and be with your family.

Dear Family Coach: My 11-year-old son was recently diagnosed with diabetes. I am unsure how much of his care he should take on. I am so worried all the time and feel that if I am barely managing his diabetes how will he manage it. How do I know what he can handle? — Worried

Dear Worried: The goal for all children managing chronic illness is to empower them to care for themselves. Just because you are having a hard time handling it doesn't mean he will. The quicker your son can learn to manage his diabetes the sooner he can go back to existing as a typical child. Being sick and having limitations can be difficult for children. They often feel different, but they just want to feel normal.

As a parent, you need to make sure your child is healthy and safe. Monitoring your son's disease is clearly the first priority. However, remember he will take his cues from you. If you seem overly concerned and scared, he might be, too. Conversely, if you fervently say he can't do something, he might decide to disobey you to prove that he can do it. When dealing with his diabetes, try to stay calm, listen carefully and be empathetic to his situation.

It might be helpful to work with your doctor to create a care plan. Set expectations and a timeline for what care your son can realistically handle. A support group for children who have been recently diagnosed could also be helpful. Your son will learn what others are doing to work with their diagnosis. You might benefit from a group for parents, too. And remember — mistakes will happen. Move on quickly and learn from them without shame or guilt. You are all in this together and it will take time until your son can truly manage all of his diabetes on his own. Allowing him to take ownership with appropriate oversight, however, will benefit the entire family.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski