Dear Family Coach: My husband works hard all week and on Sundays likes to set aside five hours to watch football. He is a sports fanatic. Unfortunately, the rest of the family is not. I want him to enjoy himself but not at the expense of dumping the kids on me. I'm starting to get resentful, and he isn't hearing me when I try to discuss this. With the NFL season looming please help me get through to him about sharing the parenting on the weekends. — Football Widow

Dear Football Widow: Wait. Do you hear that noise? It's the sound of millions of American women shouting and jumping up and down in solidarity. Too many wives are left to pick up the parenting pieces on the weekends while Dad heads out to the links or settles down with a bucket o' KFC and a six-pack for Sunday's Raiders-Giants game.

Before we burn our man at the stake, however, let's put this situation in his perspective. He works all week in a kind-of-crummy job, which he does faithfully to support the family. He loves football. And watching the game makes him feel less like a drone and more like a man. I don't necessarily agree with his actions, but you have to understand where he is coming from.

What Dad probably doesn't realize is you feel exactly the same about retrieving some of your post-parenthood humanity back. You might not feel so put out about watching the kids for a portion of Sunday if he comes home early on Wednesday so you can play Bunco with the girls, or he dedicates his full attention to the family on Saturday.

I suggest you talk to your husband about working together to meet everyone's needs. If you honor his love of football while discussing your own needs, he will be more likely to listen.

Dear Family Coach: I was sexually abused as a child. Now I have two young children. I want to keep them safe and use my story to help them understand the dangers in life. How can I tell them about my experience but not scare or scar them? — Abused

Dear Abused: This must be a scary time for you. I imagine it is near impossible to see your children and not think about what happened to you. Reliving those memories naturally adds fear and anxiety to your parenting.

Children should unquestionably be taught about their privates and appropriate touching. They should learn about stranger-danger and what to do if someone approaches them. But your experience is probably way too much for young children to understand and process. While the world does have its dangers, most children remain safe. Continue to educate your children, and by all means monitor their safety closely. But share your story over time in very small bits so as not to overwhelm them.

Children are perceptive to adult fears and sometimes take them on with exaggerated intensity. It might be worthwhile to find a local therapist who can help you navigate this issue.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.