Dear Family Coach: My 3-year-old daughter is regressing in her potty training. She was doing great — she had no problems, no accidents and no issues whatsoever. Then, in the last few weeks, it's like she doesn't care at all. She'll just piddle her pants. We, of course, get upset, and then she starts bawling. We've tried positive encouragement, timeouts and reminding her to go to the bathroom every hour or so. We've also tried explaining that if she continues to do this she won't be able to go to her school anymore. How can we get her back on track?? — Potty-Sick Parent

Dear Potty-Sick: There are few parenting transitions more stressful than potty training. Accidents are frustrating, not to mention unpleasant and messy. Parents are inconvenienced when their children make potty mistakes. The children can become ostracized and, as you mention, ultimately wind up getting kicked out of school. It is a pressure-filled situation.

In order to help your daughter progress, you must try to figure out what caused the regression. If a child who has previously had a positive attitude and some success in training begins to have accidents, I usually tell parents that constipation may be the cause. Most parents say, "Oh, she goes every day. She can't be constipated." Well, she could be. And constipation often dramatically affects a child's ability to stop leaks. So check with your doctor just to be sure.

The second most common reason for a regression is stress. A child can become stressed from changes at school or home, family illness, death, divorce or even a friend moving away. Think about anything that could be causing your daughter stress, and tackle those independently from her bathroom problems.

While addressing your daughter's underlying issues is important, doing so might not resolve the matter. Timeouts and punishments never encourage children to make it to the potty. In fact, these solutions could have the opposite effect. For now, keep your cool. Be supportive, keep several changes of clothes on hand and give it more time.

Dear Family Coach: My husband has always been extremely close with our children. He loved to tuck them into bed and talk about their day. But recently, our 12-year-old daughter just wants to climb in bed and read. He feels distraught and tries to guilt her into spending time with him every evening. All of his whining about bedtime is becoming uncomfortable, and I worry that he will push her away even more. How do I get him to understand that she is growing up, and that his relationship with her will have to grow, too? —Watching From the Side Mom

Dear Mom: Your baby girl is growing up, and he isn't ready. Frankly, he doesn't need more time. He will never be ready. When your daughter was little, he was her world (and you were, too). Sure she may have had friends from school, but her life revolved around the two of you. Now she is being pulled into a world that he's not part of, and that hurts. I'm guessing that every time she asks to sleep at a friend's house or sneaks out of the room with her cellphone he feels left in the dust. However, just because your daughter is developing into a young lady with a life of her own doesn't mean she is less close with her parents.

Your daughter is growing in an age-appropriate way, and this will serve her well in life. Your husband should find new ways to connect with her. For example, he could take her to get a donut after school and talk about the day. They could go for a run together or he could drive her to school one day a week instead of putting her on the bus. He should give up the guilt trip and pay attention. She is still the same girl she always has been, and skipping the bedtime tuck-in doesn't change that.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.