Dear Family Coach: I'm a stay-at-home dad. My wife travels a lot for her job and often doesn't come home until 7 p.m. My daughter's bedtime is 7:30 p.m. We have a highly choreographed bedtime routine. When my wife does come home, she sometimes doesn't listen to my advice or honor the way we do things when she isn't around. I want her to feel like she is contributing and having quality time with my daughter, but I also want to maintain our schedule. How can I balance doing what I believe is best for my child and allowing my wife to have her quality time? — Dad's Way Please

Dear Dad: I can empathize with your scenario. Having a bedtime routine greatly helps young children transition into sleep mode. Sticking to that routine can also teach them good sleep hygiene, which is a vital habit to instill during adolescence. So you are correct to covet that routine. However, just as you feel your wife doesn't honor your way, you, too, have a blind spot. You've been with your daughter all day, and you don't seem to understand how difficult it may for your wife to get her into bed after visiting for just a few minutes. This is a common issue for working parents, especially moms.

Address the tension with your wife head-on in a way that honors both of your points of view. Pick a time other than bedtime to talk with your wife about the difficulty you're experiencing. Don't tell her she messes things up. Instead, explain why you believe the routine is so important. Give her a chance to explain the times when she doesn't follow your way. Have an open mind and try to find solutions. Your way could be great, but it may not be the only way. Discover a middle ground and be flexible. Even though you're the one at home most of the time, you and your wife are partners. Don't value her opinion less, and she will be more willing to hear yours.

Dear Family Coach: I really try to watch my language around my children. But the other day I drove my car into a pole while backing up. Without thinking, in a moment of rage, I cursed in front of my young son. Now he likes to say that word constantly. I have warned him many times, but he continues to say it. I know it was my mistake, but how can I fix it? — Woeful Mom

Dear Woeful: Your lapse in composure is understandable. You are human and in a moment of extreme frustration you let an expletive fly. Your son must have picked up on your embarrassment once you calmed down. But now he's having a bit of fun with it.

Parents often feel that every one of their child's missteps must be punished, or at least scolded. However, most children know what they should and shouldn't do. Your son is trying to get a rise out of you, and it is working perfectly. Every time you scold him, you are essentially making it more likely that he will continue to use the obscenity. From now on, pretend like you don't hear it every time he says it. Don't make eye contact. Stay busy. He might say it louder and more often. Don't fret, though, because that means he will just give it up soon.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.