Dear Family Coach: Our 13-year-old child is devoted to gymnastics. She is on two teams, has a private strength coach, a dance coach and an expensive list of required equipment. Our family is struggling financially to pay for all of the lessons. We know she is not good enough for the Olympics or a college scholarship, but it does bring her joy. When is it time to rein in the amount of time and money a family dedicates to kids sports, coaching and competitions? — Tapped Out

Dear Tapped Out: Extracurricular sports and activities are meant to be enriching and fun. When activities cease fulfilling those requirements, it is time to reevaluate. Your daughter didn't start out on several teams with expensive private coaches. Presumably, she began gymnastics because she enjoyed it. So you pursued it. I wonder what took your family from casual enthusiasts to semiprofessional training. Sometimes parents and children get wrapped up in reaching the next level. All the other kids are hiring private coaches, so — naturally — your daughter needs one, too. Some of the athletes joined an additional travel team to stay in shape all year round so you too signed up your daughter for the extra team as well. But all of that additional training costs money.

It sounds like some of this high-level gymnastics is putting a strain on the family finances, and that can put a strain on the entire family. It's time to pull back a bit. Explain to your daughter about the money issues, give her a monthly budget for training and help her decide how to spend it best.

Dear Family Coach: Nearly every time I tell my kids to come for dinner or to take a shower or go to bed, they don't move a muscle. They say, "one more minute" or "wait" or "in a sec." How do I get them to listen when it's time to stop what they are doing? — Ready Now Mom

Dear Ready: Your kids aren't moving when you tell them to because they have learned that they don't have to. They know, from experience, that they can usually delay you for quite a bit. They ask for five more minutes and you usually say fine. But in those five minutes you get busy and five minutes becomes 15. Now they know that if they beg and plead or flat out ignore you they will usually get a little more time.

To put an end to their delay tactics, take a week to stay firm. Whenever they ask for more time say, "No." Every time you make a request and they ignore you or beg for more time, think of it as them saying, "What are you going to do if we don't come?" If you say it's time for dinner, then sit down and begin dinner. Furthermore, give the kids a consequence if they don't do what you ask. For example, tell them it is time for a bath. If they ignore you then tell them that they need to be in the bath in two minutes or they will lose bedtime stories. If they love those stories as much as my kids do they will hustle to the bath.

Make your words mean something and they will come running.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: K.M. Klemencic