Dear Family Coach: I have one 6-year-old daughter, but she behaves as if she's split into two. At school, she is a perfect angel. The teacher loves her and often praises her kindness and good behavior. It is great to hear, but it almost comes as a shock. At home she fights me tooth and nail about everything and can be extremely challenging. How can I get my daughter to act like she does at school when she's at home? —Worn Out Mom

Dear Warn Out: The fact that your daughter acts out at home while only showing her best self at school is fairly typical. At school, there are set routines from which teachers never veer. Students always come in the classroom, hang up their coats and bags and put their lunch boxes in the basket. Right after that, students know where to sit, what book to take out and what to expect pretty much the entire day. Teachers are responsible for many children so they cannot make exceptions and they are not susceptible to negotiation. Home life runs very differently. Parents, for a variety of oft-good reasons, don't run life like clockwork. They are much more flexible and children learn to use this flexibility to their advantage.

The good news is if your daughter isn't challenging at school she can learn to be less challenging at home. Try to create more consistency throughout the day. If your daughter knows what to expect and at what time, there will be less complaining. Don't give in to temptation to negotiate a compromise when she balks at a request. Instead, let her know that she has two choices: Either comply with the request or face a consequence.

Dear Family Coach: My daughter just joined the local soccer team. She absolutely lives for soccer and was excited for the first practice. It quickly became apparent that most of the girls on the team have been friends for some time and didn't seem open to welcoming a new player. How can I handle this situation and help my daughter become accepted socially on a new team? —Player's Mom

Dear Mom: If your daughter lives for soccer and happens to have the skills to back up her passion for the sport, she will probably be quickly accepted. Skills and the ability to help a team win are usually highly valued by teammates. With a little time the girls on the team might naturally open up more to her.

But if she isn't the next Carli Lloyd or the girls are particularly tight, it might take some subtle social engineering to nudge the others to let her in. Start by showing up for games and practices 15 minutes early. You daughter might have an easier time getting to know the girls when they arrive one by one. When the first girl appears the coach might set them up together for some drills. And don't rush out after practice either. Give your daughter a chance to have an impromptu conversation with a teammate. If all else fails, invite the team over for a movie night or to watch the World Cup. Show the girls a good time and give them a chance to see your daughter shine away from the field.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Ryan Dickey