Dear Family Coach: I know my son is gay. I'm absolutely fine with it. But he hasn't come out to me yet. Should I say something to let him know I know and am all right with it or wait until he is ready? —Supportive Mom

Dear Supportive Mom: How lucky your son is to have you as his mother. For many children, the fear of coming out to one's parents is unbearable. That fear sometimes translates into depression, anxiety, drug abuse and a long line of secrets. If only these children knew of the acceptance of their parents and the greater society, many of these issues would not be so prevalent in this population.

Even though you are open minded and accepting of your child's sexual orientation, it doesn't mean he's aware of it. So tell him. Make it clear that you're an open-minded person who cares about a person's character, not race, gender, ethnicity sexuality. Establish to him — in very clear terms — that you believe all people need love, and that racism, xenophobia, homophobia sicken you. Use current events to open the discussion about gender and sexual orientation. Invite openly gay friends over to the house for dinner and watch movies such as Milk, the story about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person to be elected to a public office in California. That being said, it is v-e-r-y important that you not disrupt his coming out process. He should tell who he wants what he wants when he wants. Create an environment that will be easy for him to come out — but don't force it. Let the decision be left up to him.

Dear Family Coach: Our 11-year-old enjoys spending time playing online computer games while talking to and playing with his friends. He is an avid reader, does quite well in school and participates in other activities. He also doesn't watch much television, so his screen time is mostly on the computer. If playing video games is a way of socializing how do we determine how much time to allow? — In The Dark Ages Parents

Dear In The Dark: One of the worries of parents whose children play video games is that it will replace real human interaction. Kids become comfortable sitting in their rooms staring at a screen for hours on end. Their online worlds become so rich that it winds up more engaging than real life. Add in to the equation that friends are also in this online world and your child is primed to begin to drop activities and other healthy habits

It sounds like your son is fairly well rounded at this point. He has friends, does other activities outside of the home and is excelling in school. Make those activities a priority before video game play is allowed. Try inviting friends over for a video game night or head out to a local tournament to expand the socialization aspect.

Parents can feel helpless when children only want to play online. Don't buy into that. You run the ship and decide how much is enough. Here's a pretty solid rule of thumb: don't allow more than two hours a day, and not within an hour of bedtime. If you find that your son is constantly seeking more time, make even greater cutbacks.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: David Prasad