Dear Cheryl: I married my wife on Feb. 15. We tried to get married on Feb. 14. We were so romantic. I told her when we got married that I hoped it would be forever. We were so happy together. She would pick me up from work with our baby daughter. We were so thrilled when she was born. I was there for every moment of the delivery. I even cut umbilical cord.

Then, my wife got pregnant again. I could tell something was odd with her. She wouldn't tell me what it was until one day she started crying. She had gotten an abortion. We were going to have twins. I felt numb and lost. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should leave her or stay. But I loved her, so I stayed and I prayed.

She got pregnant two more times, and we had two more children. For the first 10 years of our marriage, we were happy. After that, things changed. She didn't care about our home anymore. I tried hard to save the marriage.

Finally, I decided to get help for myself. I got stronger and prepared myself for the worse. It came when she asked me for a divorce. I knew she was fooling around. I was going to try and prove it, but my closest friend told me to not do it. I never saw this coming. How could I have been so naive? — Deer Caught in the Headlights

Dear DCITH: Of course you saw it coming. You first saw it coming when your wife aborted your twins and didn't tell you. You saw it coming again when she started not caring about the house. You saw it coming when you got help for yourself and prepared yourself for the worse. The only think you didn't do was connect the dots.

The next time you're in a relationship — and you will be — pay attention to the forest and not just the trees.

Dear Cheryl: I'm happily married and totally satisfied by my husband, but I love to flirt. I love the attention I get from strange men by batting my eyelashes, so to speak. It makes me feel that even if I'm an old married lady of 27, I've still got game.

I truly believe a little innocent flirting is OK even if you are married. My husband does not. He says if I were happy with him, I wouldn't need the attention from other men. What do you think? — Flirty Gertie

Dear Flirtie Gertie: First of all, what do you consider flirting? If you're waiting for your car at the car wash and you strike up a conversation about the price of gas with a man who's waiting for his car, is that flirting? I think not.

If you're at a bar with a couple of girlfriends and you initiate a conversation with a man about how to tell the difference between breast implants and natural breasts, that's flirting. Is it innocent? Hardly.

Women who take care of themselves, dress in flattering clothing and carry themselves with self-confidence will always get attention from men. They don't have to flirt. They don't do anything that they wouldn't do if their husband were standing next to them. Is it worth antagonizing your husband just to feed your ego?

Got a problem? Send it to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not.