Lucy's affair with Andrew began shortly after he got married. It was "on and off in the beginning."

"We were always attracted to each other and the relationship developed into an easy friendship," Lucy says.

As time went on, Lucy became a born-again Christian and the relationship ended. Still, they remained friends and would call each other on their birthdays to see how they were doing.

Andrew's wife passed away last February, and in March he contacted Lucy. She says, "I was overwhelmed with grief for his loss and I offered him my condolences. I told him if he ever needed to talk, he should call me."

Andrew called shortly after that telling Lucy he was feeling "a little stir crazy" and wanted to come over. "I was prepared to let him talk out his grief, but when he arrived he wanted to do no such thing," she says. "He started telling me how long it had been since he'd had sex. I expressed to him that I thought it was too soon for him to begin another relationship. But by the beginning of April, we were in this whirlwind romance. I loved every minute of it until I realized that I was still a secret and a booty call, the same as I'd been when he was married."

Their affair lasted four months. "I could no longer tolerate how he fitted me into his life as though I was still the other woman, coming over at bed time, leaving early in the morning, never including me in his plans for the holidays. He never introduced me to his friends or relatives. The last straw was when he told me he would be spending his birthday with his son for brunch and then with friends for dinner. Where did I fit in? I didn't."

Lucy wrote Andrew a letter ending the relationship. He called to say she has low self-esteem and no interests other than sex. He said he never wanted to see her again.

"I tried to invite him to dinner so we could talk since everything was now out in the open, but he said he wouldn't have dinner with me, ever. He said when he's through with someone, he's through."

And then Andrew said something very revealing. He said he stopped speaking to his uncle because his uncle moved a woman into his house six months after his wife died. He married her a year later. Andrew said he hasn't spoken to him since.

"Is that crazy or what? I don't see how that story related to us."

Lucy ended the call by telling Andrew she'll always love him. Andrew's been true to his word. He hasn't contacted her.

She thinks the problem is that Andrew never grieved properly for his wife. "He didn't put a period after her death, he had put a comma."

I couldn't disagree more.

I think the problem is that in Andrew's mind, Lucy was, is and always will be a booty call. Nothing more. He has a strict moral code — for everyone but himself — and she doesn't live up to it, anymore than his uncle and his uncle's wife.

That's what I think. Readers, what do you think?

What were your best, worst and funniest first dates? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay