The Intervention Came Too Late

By Cheryl Lavin

October 1, 2017 4 min read

Should children interfere in the lives of their adult parents?

That was basically the question that DAUGHTER OF SWINGING SENIOR asked.

She was worried about her mother. Her father had died and her mother was dating a man 10 years her junior. The man said he was divorced and living alone in a small, rundown house. But he spent several nights a week, and all holidays, living in a home with his married daughter and his ex-wife.

DSS asked, "Isn't this odd?"

Oh, yeah.

Her mother once spent the weekend with him and his ex-wife.

"She says this is all acceptable behavior under the 'new rules' for senior dating. Is there any such thing?"

I told her there are a lot of new rules, but three-way housekeeping isn't one of them.

"Something is so obviously wrong that it may be time for an intervention."

DAUGHTER OF A SWINGING SENIOR has written back ...

"Her boyfriend is gone and so is her house. She acts like both losses are just bad luck. The first loss was par for the course from what I could see, but the second came as a shock because she had assured us a couple of years ago that her house was paid off. The next thing we knew, the house was in foreclosure. Now she's living with my sister.

"The moral of this story is if your parent(s) start acting strangely, have some kind of intervention before it's too late."

Readers, this is in response to Jessie and Timmy. Jessie dumped Timmy because he was spending too much time with his son and she was tired of coming in second.

Dear Cheryl,

If children are minors, then they should always come first when a parent is dating, always. (That's not to say you should let a child manipulate you.) I was impressed by the way my now-husband felt about his kids. He was divorced, his ex was difficult and tried to interfere and prevent parenting time. But he saw his children whenever he could. I shared holidays, weekends, etc with his children. If a person will put their kids on a back burner, ignore or dump them for a girl/boyfriend, then I seriously doubt that they will ever be very loyal to someone they're dating or marry either.

Regarding Jessie, she did hit gold with Timmy, he told her in his ad how much he cares about his son, she should have listened. If there's a fool in this relationship, it's her. It doesn't appear that his son lives with him so she can have Timmy the majority of the week. After a while, Timmy's son won't want to spend every weekend with his dad, his son will have his own friends, a girlfriend, sports, etc that will demand his time. Right now Timmy is building a relationship with his son, which is so important — and Jessie is jealous of that time. Jessie had no business answering Timmy's ad. I would suggest that Jessie break things off so that Timmy can find someone who has the same goals and priorities that he does.

Did children break up your relationship? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected] And check out my ebooks, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

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