We have something of a contest going here at TALES FROM THE FRONT as we search for the world's worst ex-spouse. We've had some worthwhile contenders. Today we meet the newest contestant, Charlee. She's going to be hard to top ...

Hayden married Charlee two years after they met and they had their first child two years after that. It all sounds like everything was going according to plan. But things are never as they seem. During this time, Charlee was drinking and using drugs, and she and Hayden fight about it.

"I don't drink and have never done drugs," says Hayden.

He was working two jobs and Charlee was working, too. Hayden's mother would babysit. Charlee was supposed to pick up their daughter after work. But there were many times — "too many to remember" says Hayden — when she didn't.

"I'd receive a call from my mom asking when someone was going to pick up the baby. I'd have to call around to find Charlee. She was usually in a bar with her male co-workers."

Then, Hayden and Charlee had a second child. That blessed event was clouded by the fact that Hayden found out that Charlee was having an affair.

"My neighbor confirmed that her lover would come over as soon as I left for work and just walk right in like he lived there. Our second daughter, the product of her affair, was autistic from birth. I believe it was caused by Charlee's drug use."

At this point, Hayden and Charlee went for some long overdue counseling. Unfortunately, they only made it to three sessions because Charlee refused to go to any more.

"She said the therapist was picking on her."

Hayden is Catholic and divorce wasn't an option for him. And he didn't want to lose daily access to his children. "I love my children and I love being a father." So he and Charlee stayed married and had three more children, two boys and a girl. And Charlee continued to drink and use drugs.

"One time I caught her stashing her pot in the toilet tank. I found out later that she would routinely take the children with her when she would meet her drug dealer."

Then, one summer day, Hayden got a call from his six-year-old son saying that Charlee had left him and his siblings alone in a park. He called the police and his nephew and asked them to get the kids. His nephew arrived first. He told Hayden that when he got to the park, Charlee was nowhere to be found. Then the police arrived. While they were questioning the children, Charlee showed up. She told the police she'd gone to the bathroom.

"Her sister later told me that she'd gone to buy pot and exclaimed, 'I was only gone 30 minutes.'"

In the next column, we'll read the rest of the Hayden and Charlee tale. And it gets even uglier ...

How do you and your partner spend your evenings? Do you watch TV together? Play games? Or do you each go your separate way? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my ebooks, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."