Back in the day, they used to say that life begins at 40. But now 60 is the new 40. So, is it any wonder that people in their 60s are looking to start brand new, happier lives?

Judy is 65 and has been married to Al for 45 years. "The first 15 years were OK," she says. "We were poor, but we loved each other. We had three children together."

Then, things started to change. Al stopped coming home every night when his shift at the factory ended. "On Friday nights he'd stop at the bar with his factory buddies after he got off of work at 11 p.m.," she said.

Judy says Al always had a roaming eye. But when he was approaching 40 a mid-life crisis kicked in and he had an affair: "It was a full-blown, four year affair with a married woman who attended our church. As soon as she got him to commit to her and leave us she decided she didn't want him any more." Al came home after two weeks.

Without some major work, things are rarely the same after a situation like that. But Judy and Al never did the work that would have allowed her to eventually be able to forgive him. She stayed because of the children, but she was miserable.

The betrayal took an enormous toll on Judy: "My life went downhill. I couldn't figure out why this had happened. I worked so hard. Besides taking care of the kids, I always had a job outside the home.

"Al always had erection problems, so our sex life was never really that good. But it stopped completely a few years after his affair."

When Al was 60, he had a massive stroke. Judy took him to the hospital immediately. That night, a woman he worked with showed up at the hospital and rushed to his side. She kissed his cheek and said, "Oh, my Al!" Judy said, "Because of that I knew he was still flirting with the women at work."

Ever since his stroke, Judy has been his one and only caregiver and has had difficulty with the situation: "He has been affected mentally and physically and has a new, mean personality. I can't take him to the places I used to enjoy because he wets himself and does weird, embarrassing things.

"I'm miserable. My life seems to have stopped when I was 36-years-old and he had the affair. I spend 24/7 with him, caring for him. I have taken complete responsibility for everything. My life is a disaster of loneliness, frustration, stress and tears."

But then a surprise came upon Judy. She said, "One day I got an email from Jack, an old friend, saying, 'Do you remember me?'"

Tomorrow you'll hear the rest of the tale of Judy, Al and Jack...

How much do you think you owe to an old and/or sick spouse? What about if your spouse cheated on you, or if your marriage was always unhappy?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."