Anyone who's alive today has the lousy luck of being born to an era when thin is in. Oh, to have lived when Rubens was painting!

NAOMI: Weight has had an effect on all of my relationships, starting when I was a teen. I had a beautiful, thin mother for whom I was never thin enough. Until the day she died, she told me how great she looked in her white bathing suit!

My weight fluctuated over the years. When I was in my early 20s, I dated a guy whose family didn't think I was thin enough. His mother asked me what size I wore (12 or 14 — not fat, not thin). This played into my insecurity.

When I was 27, I met the man I would eventually marry. He was divorced from a "lovely, thin blonde wife," so I always felt as if I were in her shadow. In order to land him, I lost 50 pounds. Throughout our marriage, he verbally abused me about my weight. When I was divorcing him, he said, "Who's going to want you, you fat piece of s—-?"

Well, I'm 60, and I'm here to tell you that after getting my head together and stepping back for a year, I met the man I should have been with 30 years ago. He's a chef and we're both round. He makes me feel sexy and wanted. As my dad used to say, "It isn't how you start; it's how you finish."

CALLIE: When I was 14, I was emotionally involved with a much older man who was obsessed with weight in general, mine in particular. Although I was 5 foot 4 and 115 pounds at the time, I became extraordinarily self-conscious about my figure. When he abruptly broke off the relationship, I thought it was due to my weight.

Over the next four years, I suffered from severe depression and was suicidal. And my weight grew to 165 pounds. It took me many years to realize the almost fatal impact this man's attitude had on my self-esteem.

When I was 22, I met a wonderful man who loved me unconditionally. He changed my life. The depression lifted, and I came to see myself through his eyes. I later met and married another man who, again, loved me as I was. We divorced after 20 years, but not once did he ever insult me about my weight, which has fluctuated up and down by 35 pounds over the years.

I'm now 50 and I've been blessed to be in a committed relationship for the past eight years with a wonderful man who also accepts me as I am.

SHELBY: Throughout my adult life, I've weighed between 105 and 115 pounds at 5 foot 3. Then I got sick and had to be on steroids. I gained 30 pounds.

I was amazed at how differently I was treated. One day I was approached by an attractive man. He told me how sexy I was. Over the course of the next several months, we continued to see each other, and he witnessed the gradual return of my former body. I'm now only 5 pounds more than before. He's more attracted than before. Yet the best thing is that he loved my body before the weight loss. That is more of a turn-on to me than anything else.

What role has weight played in your relationships? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."