Did you ever feel sorry for someone and realize when all was said and done the person you should have been feeling sorry for was you? Did you ever meet someone and immediately feel you were better: smarter, maybe better looking, more successful, happier? Did you ever feel you had your life together and the person's was a disaster? Did you ever feel you had the upper hand in the relationship and somewhere along the line you lost it?
When Andie first became friends with her co-worker Scott, she was in a very good place. She was happy and independent, divorced with a son and not looking to marry.
"I didn't want a man around my son who wasn't serious," she says.
And then there was Scott. She says: "I felt sorry for him. He had no game. He didn't even know how to dress." And if that wasn't enough, he was miserable at home. For three years, Andie listened to Scott complain about his problems with his wife.
"I started to believe that he was just in a bad marriage," she says.
In other words, all of his problems would disappear if he were just with another woman. What about her?
"He made me feel like I was the most fantastic woman in the world which isn't at all true," she says. "I was raised by a realistic mother and she told me I was a beast. I've been around and learned she was right."
They started an affair. While the affair was going on, Andie would suggest that Scott, this shlepping loser kind of guy, take his wife out to dinner and buy her flowers. She was really trying to help the guy get his life together. She enjoyed the sex they had and the jewelry he bought her and the trips he took her on, but she didn't think they had a future. She says she never asked him to leave his wife for her.
But these things have a way of turning around. "He grew on me like a fungus," says Andie. "I fell in love with him."
And then Scott's wife left him and filed for a divorce. She didn't want him anymore, and Andie inherited the poor loser. They moved in together.
"That was when I discovered that he had been sleeping with several other women while he was married and having an affair with me," she says.
Imagine her surprise when she found out that this dork who didn't know how to dress and had no game actually had enough game to get her and several other women. And he wasn't even apologetic about it.
"When I confronted him with the evidence, this fool said I should get over it," she says. "He honestly believes that he has the right to other women."
As of now, the worm had fully and completely turned. Andie is still living with Scott. He still believes he is entitled to as many women as he can seduce.
"I've lost all respect for him and pray constantly that I can move on one of these days," she says. "I can't bear to have him touch me. I've been ruined. I wish I could turn back time."
Did you once have the upper hand in the relationship and then lose it? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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