Karl had been dating Cassie for six years when she became pregnant. He was 28. She was 23. Karl says he loved Cassie with all his heart and that they had talked about marriage but he was happy with the way things were. And the timing wasn't right for them to get married or have a baby. Cassie wanted to go back to school. They decided to put their child up for adoption.

He says: "My family supported us 100 percent. Her family acted as if they didn't know she was even pregnant. I'm sure it sounds selfish to think only of ourselves, but we thought it would be better to help others than to keep the child. I was at the hospital the night the baby was born and I did go to see him, but I couldn't bring myself to touch him. All I could do was tell him that I was sorry for what I was doing to him. I cried as I walked away."

At the time, Karl says he told himself the adoption was "the right thing to do and best thing to do." He added: "But we knew in our hearts that it wasn't. Still, we did it anyway. Things immediately changed for us.

"For the first few years I lied to myself thinking what we did was right and good and that we were helping a family that couldn't have children. But I wasn't doing anything but fooling myself. Cassie and I split up two years after our son was born."

It's now 10 years later. Karl and Cassie have both married and have their own families. But that hasn't helped Karl cope with his loss.

He says: "As each year passes, I get angrier with myself, hate myself more and grow more disappointed with our decision. It's too late now, but I want our son back. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about him. Where is he? What does he look like? What is he doing? Cassie feels the same way. What were we thinking?

"My wife knows about the baby because of the picture that I have of him. The adopted family was supposed to send me a picture at three, six, and nine months and at a year, but they never did. I have only the one. My wife thinks I'm a piece of dirt and she thinks Cassie is a slut and asks how we could have done that to our child.

"I think all the time about what I'll say if and when the day comes he finds us and asks 'Why did you give me away?' I hope I can explain and he understands. I left my end of the adoption open so he can find me, if he ever wants to.

"I wish we could go back in time and had never made this decision. I wish I had my son and had never let him go. I would tell him I love him every day. This was the hardest decision I've made in my life and I've regretted it every day since."

Have you regretted a decision? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."