From time to time, we've debated the pros and cons of living together versus getting married. Some consider living together a creation of the devil. Others think marriage is an invention of the state. Some think it's a way to test a relationship, others see it as a way to avoid one. Harper says if things had gone according to plan (When do they ever?), she and Nate would be married by now. Instead they're living together. The marriage plans have been put on hold.

She tells why: "Eight months into our relationship, Nate was diagnosed with leukemia. My family was already outraged that we were living together, and once it came out that he was sick, I was warned that I would be taken for a ride. Really? Any more so than a woman who shacks up with her lazy commitment-wary man?"

It's been over a year now since the diagnosis, and during this time, Harper has worked two jobs to make ends meet because Nate isn't able to work at all.

She says, "I've budgeted our funds, and while I don't have any disposable income to spend on little luxuries, I've kept our bills current and I've even managed to acquire a bit of savings for us."

In addition to managing their finances, Harper is Nate's nurse, secretary and chauffeur. She describes: "I give him his medication, I schedule his appointments, and I take off of work when he can't drive himself. I even spent three sleepless days in a chair next to his bed when an infection went septic and he hovered closer to death than I ever want to deal with again.

"I've cleaned up all kinds of bodily messes with a smile, too. I've sacrificed my free time to care for him nonstop. We spent my birthday, Christmas and New Year's in the hospital. Instead of toasting at midnight, I was wiping up sick-mess."

We've all heard the saying "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" Why would a guy who's getting all the sex he wants and being kept satisfied marry the girl? That isn't an issue for Harper and Nate.

She says: "Our sex life has been put on hold, but we still have a level of intimacy that I've never reached in any relationship I've ever had. Nate is one guy who's not looking for any free milk!"

Nate's illness has put a tremendous emotional and financial strain on Harper, a strain she doesn't have to endure. She could walk away at any time. However, she says: "I wouldn't dream of it. The thought has never crossed my mind. We may be co-habitating, for now, but I think it's obvious that we're in this for the long haul. Right now, marriage is just a piece of paper. We're already living out the 'for better or for worse' part.

"But once we're on the other side of this, you just try and keep us away from the altar! Nate's illness has shown me that while marriage is ultimately important, it's more about how you live than what title you have."

Has love shown you that you're capable of things you never realized? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not." COPYRIGHT 2017 CREATORS.COM