Dear Readers: In all the years I've been writing this column there have been two consistent themes: the nice guy who nobody wants and the husband saddled with a fat wife.

It makes me wonder, is it true that women don't want nice guys? Or are the self-described nice guys lacking some quality that is vital for women to be attracted to them?

Is the husband with a fat wife unbelievably selfish and unaware that there are far more important aspects of marriage than physical appearance? Or is the fat wife staying fat to punish her husband and/or herself? I wonder.

REG: I'm a drug-and-disease-free single guy in my early 30s. I have an advanced degree, a great job, a good condo, a wicked sense of humor, a love for the arts and a decent body (OK, I'm losing my hair, but...) who is a hopeless romantic and dying for a serious relationship with a kind, passionate woman who has similar traits. And I can't get a girlfriend to save my life.

I'm sick of hearing women say there aren't any good, mature, emotionally healthy, caring, sexually attentive, romantic men available. Sorry, ladies. I don't think that's what you really want, because I — and at least half a dozen attractive and nice, but perpetually single guys I know — am constantly getting rejected, snubbed, blown off and dumped for some world-class jerks who fulfill few of your relationship requirements. They use you and treat you rotten every time.

If you're really that upset with the quality of men, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your priorities, ditch the losers, put on your big-girl panties and hold out for — or even, dare I suggest, pursue — a man who can give you what you want and need emotionally and physically.

There are good men available. We only get one life. We might as well make the most of it by being with people who love us for who we are and treat us the way we want to be treated.

CHUCK: I married a 5-foot-4 woman who then weighed between 120 and 130 pounds and was interested in losing more. Now, 20 years later, she's pushing 200 pounds. I never would have married someone that heavy for her size. I don't find it attractive. There are also other issues between us related to her health and her organizational habits.

We have not been sharing a bed and we rarely have sex, primarily due to her weight. I don't find her attractive, and she has done very little to work off the pounds. She has been overweight for 15 years now. We've had many discussions about it, and she always makes excuses about why weight loss can't or won't happen.

I've been patient, and I think I've paid my dues. I'm waiting for some signs of change before I decide whether or not to end our marriage. I miss having someone around to take to places, and I miss being intimate with someone I find attractive.

What's a guy to do when his spouse becomes someone who he never would have touched in the first place and then refuses to make a change? I do not want to live a celibate or semi-celibate life just yet.

Do you have any advice for Reg and Chuck?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."