Dear Cheryl, I've been in an exclusive relationship with Sean for two years. Several months ago I happened to see his Christmas card list and discovered that he sent a card to his ex-girlfriend and her parents. He didn't send one to my mother or any of my siblings whom he's met numerous times. His relationship with his ex supposedly ended a year and a half before we met. If there's no relationship between them and he's not in touch with her as he says, then why did he do this? CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR, BUT THE CHRISTMAS CARD LIST HANGS AROUND FOREVER

Dear CCBOAYBTCCLHAF, Why don't you ask him?

And be ready when he asks you how you just happened to see his Christmas card list.

MINI ME wrote recently asking for advice on how to act after breast reduction surgery. I told her to be upfront (no pun intended) if people she knew asked her about it. With new people I said, "Once you're no longer the girl with the giant ta-tas, you're going to have to find out who you really are. And, then, when men show some interest in you, you'll know it's for you and not just your breasts."

Today your thoughts . . .

LILY: I had breast reduction surgery and all I heard from friends was "You look great! Did you lose weight?" I replied, "Yes! Five pounds." They never made the connection.

GAYLE: Cheryl, I'm sorely tempted to sentence you to 30 lashes with my 36DD bra. Yes, big breasts give some men some goofy ideas, and some of them are flat-out criminal, but big breasts are not the meal ticket that women who are not well endowed think that they are.

As for what men will say, my experience has been that men are a lot more generous, tactful and kind about these things than women are.

MIA: Hold on, Cheryl. There will always be men who only respond to appearances. My breasts are only average-sized and I've been warding off breast men for 40 years.

SHELLEY: My sister and best friend live in a small community and they both had breast reductions. It was by far the best thing they ever did. They had support from everyone. My sister is so proud of her transformation, she tells everyone.

IAN: My cousin underwent breast reduction surgery 15 years ago. Before the surgery, you couldn't help but notice that her breasts were huge and not in a good way. They guys talked about her constantly, with sympathy, not desire.

After the surgery, she was able to start exercising for the first time since she was 14. She joined a bike club, made a whole bunch of new friends, and suddenly she was dating regularly.

Speaking of breasts, the majority of men are quite happy with women's breasts no matter what size they are. As for implants, men can spot them a mile away.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: Blondinrikard Fröberg