Dear Cheryl, I'm having breast reduction surgery this month because of my back. I'm scared that after I have the surgery, I'll be looked at differently by guys and everyone else. But especially by guys. I don't know what to say or how to act. —MINI ME

Dear MINI ME, First of all, you're dealing with two different groups of people. There are the ones you already know you and the ones you haven't met yet. Let's start with the first group. I'm sure you've told some of your women friends about the surgery. Count on them to pass the word. But if any of the guys you know says something to you, simply tell him you were having back pain and had a breast reduction. If he says something rude, he's a jerk. Who needs jerks?

As far as the people you haven't met yet, that's going to be interesting. Once you're no longer the girl with the giant ta-tas, you're going to have to find out who you really are. Consider it a challenge. You have a unique opportunity to create a whole new you, not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. And, then, when men show some interest in you, you'll know it's for you and not just your breasts.

Dear Cheryl, My wedding was perfect, but my marriage was a sham. I was married to a man who was wonderful in many ways but incapable of telling the truth about anything important, and many things that were not.

Since then, I've done internet dating. However, I've been plagued by more liars. I read somewhere that 35 percent of men on line are married or in a relationship, but in my experience it's more like 75 percent. As a result, I've turned into a very suspicious woman. I won't engage in any physical intimacy without a house check.

However, the last man circumvented my security system. He told me that his wife had died giving birth to his twins. I naively assumed that no one was low enough to lie about something like that. I was wrong. She's alive and well and was watching said twins during our dates.

I don't really know how to process all of this and move on with a reasonably open mind and heart. I want to be a trusting person but I'm sick of being taken advantage of. —LIARS NEED NOT APPLY

Dear LNNA, The easiest thing to do is say, "All guys are liars and cheats" and put up walls to keep from being hurt again. It takes real courage to keep an open mind and an open heart and not become cynical.

Of course you need to protect yourself. A house check before becoming intimate is just good common sense. And it's always a good idea to get a home phone number and work number, not just a cell number. And to meet his friends. You need to be smart and have your antennae out.

On the other hand, you have to constantly remind yourself that there are good, honest men out there who are looking for decent women. And, the good news is, you only need one of them! And once you do, all the frogs will just be funny stories.

That brings me to my last point. Anyone who's dating needs a sense of humor.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: Laura D'Alessandro