Dear Cheryl: My son was "best friends forever" with Jen throughout middle school and high school, but they both married others in their early 20s. Jen's husband is over 50. My daughter-in-law is 22. Both ladies had baby boys, just two months apart, and they are almost 3 years old.

My son and his family rent a four-bedroom house with a nice backyard and occupy two of the four bedrooms. In the past, they've sublet the remaining two bedrooms to friends. And now, they're subletting to Jen and her family. This is their first month of togetherness.

The ladies seem to get along OK, as do the men. My daughter-in-law seems OK with the arrangement because they need the money. Neither mom works, although my daughter-in-law is an accomplished seamstress and sews to order. My son works 40-plus hours per week and is sometimes sent out of town for a week or two at a time. Jen and her husband work sporadically.

The boys have had some adjustments to make, since my grandson has a regular nap and bedtime and meal schedule, and is far advanced in language development, potty training and self-control. The other boy, who's two months younger, still nurses, does not verbalize much, sleeps with his parents, wears diapers, cannot feed himself and has a very flexible sleep schedule. Bedtime is whenever. His only developmental disability is his parent's leniency.

The other day, my son said that Jen is an important part of his life but that their lifestyles are different and there is no chance that there would ever be any intimacy between them.

I am seriously disturbed about the situation. My son doesn't seem to understand why and tells me how unreasonable I'm being. I believe he's naive and being used.

I will continue to take my grandson to the park and the store store and out to dinner and give him his bath and tuck him into bed, but I don't wish to associate with the couple. — This Fish Stinks So Bad, How Come I'm the Only One Who Can Smell It?

Dear TFSSBHCITOOWCSI?: I can smell it, too. If ever there was a Lifetime movie waiting to happen, this is it. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do.

If I were you, I'd make a date to see your son and his wife outside their home, or at their home when you know the other couple won't be around. Explain that you've lived longer and you know a little more about human nature than they do. You know that your son living with a woman who he used to love and is still an important part of his life is asking for trouble. No matter how pure his intentions are, the constant temptation is more than anyone needs.

Anytime he has a fight with his wife, guess who's there to console him. Anytime Jen has a fight with her husband, your son has a shoulder for her to cry on. And then I'd make the point that the different parenting styles can only lead to friction. Your grandson will rebel against having rules, as his friend doesn't have any.

Finally, I'd make the case that they might be better off in a house they can afford — without borders — than allowing a series of non-family members into their home. Unless they're interested in setting up a commune, they need their privacy.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."