The best advice comes not from the experts, whether they be Dr. Phil, Dr. Seuss or even me (well, sometimes me), but from you. Today you share what you've learned — the hard way.

ERIN: I tell my friends and my children that you essentially have two choices in life. You can be right, or you can be happy. If you come to a crossroad about an issue, you need to decide how hard you want to fight for your point. Often the matter is not that important, and you can concede, and both you and your partner will be happy. Sometimes the matter is a hill to die on and you need to choose to be right. Your partner might not be happy, but if you both follow this strategy, things tend to balance out, and no one is unhappy for very long or very often.

KATYA: When I would get into a he said/she said with my husband, I assumed he was lying if his version of events differed from my version of events. It took me many years of living and many thousands of dollars of therapy to realize the problem was not one of lying but of perception.

He honestly heard things differently than I did. He remembered things differently than I did. When I was willing to grant him his perception of events and insist that he acknowledge mine, we were able to move forward and work on the real issue, not get stuck on who was lying.

MATT: When I'm so boiling mad at my wife I could scream, I take a deep breath and remember how she looked the first time I saw her holding our newborn son. I stay in that moment as long as it takes for the anger to dissipate.

ELISHA: The first time he insults you, whether in public or in private, dump him. Don't wait till the first time he hits you.

The first time he hits you, dump him.

When he starts telling you how to dress and how to wear your hair, dump him.

When he starts acting more like a stern father than a lover or boyfriend, dump him.

When he embarrasses you with his cheapness, dump him.

When he treats you in such a way that makes you feel cheap, dump him.

When he makes sexual advances that you're unwilling to accept and accuses you of being a tease, dump him.

When you're ashamed to be seen in public with him, no matter what the cause, dump him. And don't feel guilty.

When you know you're settling but you're afraid you'll never attract anyone else, dump him.

When there's no chemistry on your part and a date with him is boring, dump him.

When he is jealous for no reason, dump him.

When he becomes enraged because you've made a date with someone else even though you and him have not been exclusive, dump him.

When he mistreats you but you feel that you deserve his abuse, dump him and get into therapy.

When you've decided to marry him or live with him because life in your parents' home is intolerable, dump him. Going from the frying pan into the fire is no solution. The frying pan is less complicated.

How do you know when it's time to dump someone? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay