Dear Cheryl: You told the virgin that if she was to experience sex either in love or not in love that she first needed to meet men. You suggested places for her to do that — the gym, coffee shops, political rallies, etc., etc., etc. I frequent those places you suggested, and many more. My question is, where does a man go to meet women? — I'm Here; Where Are They?

Dear I'm Here; Where Are They?: I should have been more specific. Just going to the right places isn't enough. You have to put yourself out there. If you're sitting at a coffee shop next to a woman who looks interesting, catch her eye. Smile. Say hello.

Say, "I'm through with this newspaper. Do you want it?" Or "That coffee cake looks good. I think I'll try some." Say anything! It doesn't matter. If she's interested, she'll keep the conversation going. If she's not, so what? There are a million women who are right for you. If you keep putting yourself out there, you'll find one.

There's one thing you have to absolutely convince yourself of: Women want to meet men. They want to meet nice men, not just flashy dressers with fancy cars and six-figure jobs. They want to meet nice men to settle down with.

Now, what if you're not the kind of guy who finds it easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger? Then what? In the words of the immortal Dr. Phil, "How's that working for you?" If sitting back and waiting for women to make the first move hasn't gotten you anywhere, then change your tactics. Force yourself to be more outgoing. It will become easier and easier. I promise you.

I hate to be blunt, but hitch up your Big Boy pants, and go out and make something happen!

Dear Cheryl: My boyfriend is pressuring me to get a boob job. I've thought about it in the past but never seriously. I'd like him to look at me the way he stares at women with big chests, but I'm afraid. I know there can be problems. It can be painful and expensive. Still, I don't want to lose him. — 34A

Dear 34A: I have no problem with boob jobs, nose jobs, liposuction, hair plugs, Botox, face-lifts, brow lifts, butt lifts and any other kind of lifts, as long as they're done for the right reason. And a boyfriend who ogles women with big breasts in front of you — how low-class! — is not a good reason.

We're talking about surgery. You're right. It's expensive; it takes time to heal; things can go wrong; it can hurt. And if you don't like it, you have to go through the whole thing all over again. You should only consider it if it's something you really want, you've thought about for a long time, you can afford, you've researched doctors and interviewed satisfied and unsatisfied patients, and — here's the big one — you'll be glad you did even if you were to break up with your boyfriend.

Cosmetic surgery — of any kind — can never solve your problems or make you a whole new person or work a miracle or make someone fall in love with you. But it can make you look better, and that's no small thing.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions, tales and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."