Cops have had a hard time lately. They've been accused of being cowboys who shoot first and ask questions later. And cellphone cameras mean everything they do is being scrutinized. A few of them deserve a bad rap; many others don't. But nobody knows them better than the women who date and marry them.

KIMBA: I've been dating a cop for over a year. I never would have chosen him if I saw him on a dating website. Due to serendipitous events, we ended up having lunch one day and we really connected — mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We met for coffee or lunch for a few more weeks, and we just went nuts over each other.

I have to admit that it's very interesting when we're in public. There've been times we've gotten together right after work. He threw a jacket over his uniform, but you could still see it. I'd catch the unfriendly vibes from some cop-haters. Being with him has really opened my eyes to how cops are often perceived as stereotypes, not individuals.

NILA: I'm a typical "stupid civilian," as some cops refer to non-cops. We simply don't fit in their world. At least that's what a particular cop I dated for over two years would tell me.

I couldn't do anything right as far as he was concerned. It was always the same garbage about how stupid I am, what a terrible parent I am, what a slut I am. Then he would cry and become hysterical because I didn't respect him enough to change for him. It beat me up mentally. When I couldn't take it anymore, I walked.

I don't know about all other police officers, but this one was a complete mental case who told me he wanted to be with God while he waved his gun at me.

I wrote my mother a note right after Stacy Peterson disappeared. I wrote, "Dear Ma: If I ever disappear, please look at him first." We haven't been together for over a year, but I still find myself looking over my shoulder. He doesn't know where I currently live, but when you're a cop, you can find out anything.

LENA: The world is a dangerous place. I've been mugged several times and was once the victim of a home invasion. To say I'm wary of people is a gross understatement. So, when I met Ryan, a 15-year veteran of the police force, I was beyond relieved.

When I'm with him, I feel protected and loved. He installed a security system in my house and monitors it regularly. He keeps a pistol near him at all times and has taught me how to shoot. We often go to the shooting range together. We also practice martial arts together. Ryan has taught me not to be a victim, but a strong woman who can protect herself.

JENNA: I married a cop. He's a loving husband, an amazing person and a good cop. Being a cop means he has a good, dependable income that allows him to retire early with a solid pension. And he has a set of handcuffs that make things at home very interesting every now and again.

Were you ever hit on by your therapist, marriage counselor or divorce attorney? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."