Not an April Fools' Day Trick

By Cheryl Lavin

April 1, 2016 3 min read

Dear Cheryl: I'm furious with my husband. He's not a gun nut, but he firmly believes in keeping a gun for protection. He convinced me to take firearm lessons. We have 7-year-old twin daughters, so his gun is kept in a box on a closet shelf.

A week ago I came home midday from my gym and walked in on two young men burglarizing our house. After tying me up with cord from the blinds, they helped themselves to a variety of our belongings, including the gun. Fortunately I wasn't hurt, but that gun certainly didn't help me. Those two men were very nervous, as jittery as I was. Had they found the gun before binding me, they may have used it on me.

I was unable to work myself free, so I spent the next 3 1/2 hours on the floor hogtied and gagged, waiting for my girls to come home from school. Granted, even without the gun, this ordeal would have happened, so I'm really pointing out the irony of my experience. Bound up as I was, a sharp piece of glass might have served me better than that useless weapon. Even after all that, I'm not completely opposed to private gun ownership, but I seethe at the routine arguments my husband and others use to defend gun possession. — Bound and Burning

Dear Bound and Burning: After what you went through, what does your husband have to say about gun ownership? Has he replaced the gun? If he has, has he found a better place to store it? What does he say he would do if the same scenario had happened to him?

Readers, do you have a gun at home? Where do you keep it? Have you ever had to use it?

Dear Cheryl: I started out as a booty call with the first man I ever loved over 40 years ago. We were each other's booty call, but then we discovered we had other things in common. We went hiking and camping and hung out together so much people started to assume we were married.

But I wasn't ready to make a monogamous commitment — this was the 70s after all — and I wouldn't be ready to do so for another 10 years. I don't know what would have happened because he died. But in retrospect, I suspect the relationship didn't have long-term potential. I can think of several things that probably would have been deal breakers.

Maybe because the relationship didn't get to run its course, I still dream about that man sometimes, and I still carry the canteen he gave me. — What Might Have Been

Dear WMHB: This sounds like a great relationship to reminisce over on a cold night with warm brandy.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected] And check out my ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

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