"Enough Already" wrote in to say that the man she was dating was filled with anger toward his ex-wife, who left him several years ago for another man.

"I understand that being cheated on is hard to take, but when he talks about her, you'd think it had happened five minutes ago. ... I feel like his anger is getting in the way of us being happy as a couple, and his happiness in general," she said.

I told her to tell her boyfriend she enjoys his company and would like to continue the relationship, but that his anger is standing in the way, saying, "He thinks that giving it up will mean he forgives his ex-wife." But, "his anger is hurting him and his child — not his ex-wife."

"Enough Already" wrote back to say: "I took your advice and sent him a thoughtful email. I told him that I wasn't willing to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't or wouldn't love me because so much of his energy was still wrapped up in his ex-wife.

"It was hard to write, but it led to an important discussion which has put us on a path to being closer than ever. We're both coming to this relationship with a history of being hurt. That makes us both cautious. However, after some deep discussions, he agreed that...he loves me and has made strides to tell me so. His actions were always saying it, but now he's willing to write it and say it, which is bringing us closer than ever. The past two weekends he's been so much less invested in the anger and is moving forward. I hope this continues!"

Dear Cheryl: I live in a very small town and the group of people I hang out with is pretty incestuous. Most of them grew up together and know all there is to know about one another.

Last year, a couple that sometimes hung out with us got divorced. I've hung out with the wife and other people a few times. I went out with her and a mutual friend the day she signed her divorce papers. I also had a dinner party when I moved into my new place (after her divorce was final) and invited her. She came, but I really haven't seen her since. We never called each other or hung out alone.

Well, in the past few weeks, her ex-husband has been pretty upfront about wanting to take me out to dinner. A couple of friends have said that it's a great idea, and that if I exclude people who've dated or been married to someone I know, I'll never find anyone in this town. But I have some reservations. I told him that and he sort of backed off. But I saw him again, and he asked me again.

I would like to see if there's something there. I'm definitely attracted to him. I have two questions. Is it okay to date him considering that we live in such a small town? If I do date him, am I a total selfish jerk? — Don't Want to Give Them Something to Talk About

Dear Don't Want to Give Them Something to Talk About: Yes, it's OK to date him. No, you aren't. Go for it.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."