Keep On Looking

By Cheryl Lavin

April 17, 2016 4 min read

We recently heard from Concerned Niece. Her aunt is a 60-year-old woman looking for romance with a man close to her age. She was wondering if it were possible. I said yes. Here's what you had to say.

DERRICK: I'm a senior citizen, 66. In my opinion, it's much harder for a woman to remain active as she ages. I'm less likely to find someone my age who would enjoy sharing activities like skiing, hiking, bicycle riding, camping and horseback riding.

And then there's the issue of sex. I'm not suggesting that I'm anyone's Stud Muffin. It's just that women my age are more likely to say they're through with all that silliness. I asked a woman to dinner and on the first date she revealed she hadn't had sex in years. How easy is it for a woman who has abstained for 10 years to suddenly resume an active sex life? A post-menopausal woman may not look forward to having an overweight man in bed with her.

ARIELLE: Yes, there is hope for women in their 60s. Here I am, engaged to be married soon to a terrific widower I met on an online dating site. When my husband died two years ago, I decided I didn't want to spend the rest of my life single. I knew I could join clubs, take trips, etc., but the chances of meeting the right man were extremely slim. Internet dating is the only efficient way to check out many possibilities. Most men I met online were interested in women in their age range.

One important issue I would like to mention is open-mindedness. The person you loved cannot be brought back. The more open you are to the idea of a totally different (but still good, intelligent, moral, loving) person, the more possibilities there will be.

Men who think women over a certain age are dead to sex are dead wrong. Let them chase the 40-year-olds. I found that the men whose intelligence I admired online were very confident that women their own age were as interested in sex as they were. My advice is: If you want the joy of a soul mate, seek aggressively.

LONNIE: I'm a man in my 60s. Age is not an issue with me. In the past couple of years, I've dated women from 19 years younger to five years older. Our ages became known only "after the fact" and weren't an issue for any of us. None of the relationships were one-time meet-and-greet/see-you-never-again situations.

The fact is that there are many things far more important in relationships than calendar years. And I respectfully submit, the older one gets, the less age matters.

DEAN: I'm 66, single and actually looking for a woman of my generation. I've been single since my divorce in 2009. I have joined a few web-based dating sites, and frankly I haven't found many women who are honest about who they are. I assure you that I'm for real and have a fairly large circle of friends (almost all of whom are married!) who would attest to my sincerity and character.

Do you have something on your computer you don't want your partner to see? Send your thoughts along with your questions and problems to [email protected] And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

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