Chrissy discovered her husband Jackson was cheating the old fashioned way-through Facebook. She happened to be on his page and it was all there.
When she confronted him, he told her the affair meant nothing. "It was just a fling, just sex."
"There were no warning signs," says Chrissy. "Believe me, if I'd thought there was a problem, I would've fixed it. No one wants to lose her marriage after investing so much. We've been married for 22 years — and have a child, too."
Jackson told Chrissy he "needed space" and suggested they separate for a while. "He kept kissing me hello and goodbye when he came to see our son. He wasn't sure what he wanted."
He went to see their priest. She went to see their priest. They got back together. They broke up again. But when Chrissy found out that Jackson was living with the other woman, she decided she'd had enough.
"That's when I knew I wouldn't let him back."
Chrissy and Jackson are now in the process of getting a divorce. The only issue they have to work out is money. At her first court appearance, she was so nervous she thought she'd throw up. "But I didn't."
There are depositions to take, and eventually, there'll be a trial. The judge recommended a settlement, but Jackson didn't accept it. "He made a counteroffer, but I refused it. I won't compromise."
The only times Chrissy and Jackson see each other is in court. When he comes to get his son, Chrissy waits upstairs. They don't even talk on the phone. "We text each other — and only about our son."
Chrissy says she was terrified at first. "I was scared of starting over. It's easy for a guy to date. It's hard for women, with all the nuts out there."
But several months have gone by, and she's no longer afraid. "I've learned a lot about myself by being alone. I found out I can do a lot of things and that I don't need a man.
"There are good parts to starting over. It means new everything. I've made changes around every room in my home, and I'm not done yet. I'm thinking about dating. I'm looking into classes so I can finish my associate degree. I've dropped a lot of weight and changed my looks.
"I'm lucky that I have a great support system. I have a great therapist I go to every week. I have friends I've known most of my life. I even have a guy friend who gets me through the hard times.
"My girl friends told me it was OK to cry, and I did plenty of that. But that's over now. I'm stronger and happier. I'm not angry or bitter. I've forgiven Jackson. Now he has to stop being angry and heal himself. That I cannot do for him.
"It's funny how things work out. I have to thank him for making me independent again. My life is a lot better than before. I have my confidence back.
"I wish with all my heart that one day, Jackson and I can laugh together and do things together with our daughter. He was my best friend for over 20 years. I do sometimes I miss him, but I know this is the right thing."
What did you do with your wedding ring after you got divorced? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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