I told Mad Kisser that she was right to initiate a kiss after three dates — even though he never called again after that — because "This guy is gay and knows it and looking for a cover, or gay and doesn't know it, or asexual, or socially inept to the point of paralysis. In any case, the problem is his, not yours, and certainly not the fault of the kiss."
Most of you who wrote thought I was wrong, wrong and wrong. Today we hear from some of you who thought I was right!
BRIAN: I met my future wife online. We corresponded and talked for several weeks before our first date. When we finally met, I was so blown away by her amazing personality and good looks that I was afraid to kiss her at the end of our date. I didn't want to goof things up. I had dated a lot and never been shy like that before.
The next time we went out, she grabbed me and kissed me. It took my breath away, and I'm so glad she did. We got married six months later and have been together almost 14 years, and it's still great.
So, women, don't be afraid to go after what you want. Some guys are shy. But this guy was a flake.
TRUDY: I think MK did the right thing. She had nothing to lose. Either her date was interested in physical intimacy or he wasn't. At least now she knows, and she can move on. And don't call him "old-fashioned." An old-fashioned guy is the one who's willing to stop at kissing on the first date, not the guy who avoids it altogether for three dates. This guy's got a problem.
LINDSEY: If MK had grabbed his head and given him a big, slobbering, wet kiss for five minutes in front of 20 people, I agree that some men might have found this embarrassing. But a peck on the lips after the third date? Come on. I don't know what this guy's problem is, but he sure has one. MK should just be glad she didn't waste any more time on him.
BRITNEY: I've found that if you're not sure whether a kiss is in order at the end of an evening, you can always ask. You could say, for example, "Is this the part where we're supposed to kiss goodnight?" If your date says, "I don't see any reason to, do you?" then you know where he's coming from. If he says, "I don't know. Would you like to?" you could say, "Why don't we try it?"
I've sprung the question on a first date, but I'm more daring than many girls, apparently.
CARRIE: In my experience, guys usually want to kiss me on the first date. The last guy who kissed me on our first date is now my husband. There aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary or thesaurus to describe that kiss!
Have you ever totally misread your date's signals? Send your tale, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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