Dear Cheryl: My boyfriend and I have been having a passionate affair for 14 months. I've been married for 26 years and he's been married for 30. He's a grandfather. My kids are 20 and 17. We've both been unhappy in our marriages for over 10 years.

He's told me more than once that he loves me. To me, there's no good reason for us not to make a life together.

Do these kinds of affairs ever work out? Should I wait, hoping he'll leave his wife? Is dividing money and the hassle of a divorce what keeps men in dull marriages? Tell me something good. — Waiting for Good News

Dear WFGN: You want to hear something good? Okay. Sometimes men get divorced and leave their wives and marry their girlfriends.

Now let's get real. Your boyfriend is talking the talk, but he sure isn't walking the walk. Why? Maybe he doesn't want to give his wife half of his assets. Maybe he doesn't want the hassle of a divorce. Maybe it's because of his kids. Maybe it's because he has you to relieve the boredom of a dull marriage.

You wonder whether you should you stick it out. Let's say you do and he doesn't leave his wife. How will you feel in a year? Two years? Ten years? You'll still be unhappy with your husband, and by then you'll also be mad as hell at your boyfriend.

If your marriage is miserable, you first have to decide if it's salvageable. Is there anything you can do to make it better? If you decide there isn't, then you have to make a decision on whether or not to leave your husband, regardless of your boyfriend.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.

Dear Cheryl: I married my first boyfriend 25 years after he first asked me when I was 16. Between then and now, he married someone else and had a daughter with her. Then he got hurt on the job, got a big settlement and left his wife. All in all, he's had four children by four women.

He buys them cars, pays for their vacations, takes care of their boyfriends, etc. He gives his ex-wives money and credit cards. I get nothing for my birthday or Christmas.

His children are rude and only come by or call when they need something. When I told him that they just use him, he got mad at me. But when they cuss him out, I'm the one who sees him upset and crying.

He's an alcoholic and a workaholic. He brags that all he wants to do is work and drink seven days a week. He has no friends. He talks about dying.

I have a 10-year-old daughter. When he's mad at his kids, he takes it out on us — especially her.

There's no spontaneity in our marriage and whatever plans are made, I make them. It's very tiring and I'm drained. I'm sick to my stomach because of the mistake I made. All I wanted was someone to care for me. — What Was I Thinking?

Dear WWIT?: Luckily this is a mistake that you can correct. Leave this man. He has more problems than you and your daughter should have to deal with.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: Muhammad Ashiq