Before Hillary married 15 years ago, she had been living alone for 14 years.

Then she married Bruce. They had two kids, sold her house and moved to a better neighborhood. "The whole nine yards," she says. Everything was on track until one day when their oldest boy was 2 years old. Hillary took him shopping for shoes. She had left her cellphone home. When they got home a few hours later, Bruce, her husband, chewed her out for being gone so long. The relationship went downhill from there.

She says: "Every time I went shopping, he accused me of suspicious activity with other men. He called me constantly. I was in so much pain from the accusations I wanted to leave him, but I had two little kids, eight and six, so I just hung in there. I had no support system. My parents lived in Florida, any friends I was allowed to have didn't come around much. I was alone and hurting."

Every time they would fight, Bruce would threaten Hillary. She says: "He'd say, 'Let's just get a divorce, let's just separate, why don't you move out (He knew full well I had no place to go) or I'll just move out.' He even had the nerve to say to my face one time, 'It's a good thing I married you because no one else would have you.' Ouch! But I sucked it up and groveled to keep him happy. I was a nice girl, meaning I didn't buck the system."

All that changed the summer Hillary's youngest child was going into his senior year of high school. She and Bruce were fighting, and he made the grave mistake of saying, "Why don't we just get a divorce?" She said, "OK." As she left the room, she added, "A dissolution is cheaper." He said, "Whatever."

Hillary started looking for an apartment. Bruce thought she was kidding. A month later, she came home from work and announced she was moving out.

She says: "He had the nerve to say, 'I thought we could work it out.' I told him there had been too many years of threats and accusations. When I said that two letter word 'OK,' I felt totally liberated. I felt like I was free of the emotional and psychological browbeating I had endured.

"I changed the rules on my husband as soon as my kids got old enough to understand that I could no longer live with their dad. I got my head on straight and decided that I'd rather live alone then spend the rest of my life with him. It's worked out well for me. I'm much calmer and happier. Sometimes all you have to do is stand up and say enough is enough. I did."

Have you changed the rules on your partner? How's that working for you? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not.