A Mixed Bag

By Cheryl Lavin

January 12, 2019 4 min read

Today's column is about why some men cheat, a man who never will and the S-word.

PETER: Sometimes men cheat because they can't deal with one of the side effects of getting older. As a man approaches his later years, he may experience loss of sexual function, which can be devastating. If he's too embarrassed to tell his doctor, he may seek out a partner who's more exciting than his wife of many years for the simple reason that it's often easier for a man to be aroused when he's with someone new.

Yes, it's an immature, not to mention inexcusable and possibly harmful, way of dealing with a common problem. But as we know, it happens.

SUSAN: I never respond to newspaper articles, but I'm stuck on the couch with a broken ankle and a big hot-pink cast, and my husband came home from work with your article titled "Who's a slut?" He said, "Here. I thought of you."

It's not the way it sounds.

My girlfriend and I live across the street from each other and have raised our kids together from the time they were babies. They played together practically every day and are still very close now that they're 19, 20 and 24. When necessary — which was often — one of us would be the "good mom" and the other would be the "bad mom." We'd switch back and forth.

As the kids got older and we talked about stuff, we would say my friend was the "good girl" in high school while I was the "slut." It started as a joke, and while I did a few wild things in high school during my senior year, all in all, I was pretty shy and quiet.

It's been a running joke. We just talked about this the other day because the daughter in our group of kids was asking about something, and I said, "Well, you should have asked me. I'm the slut, you know." We all had a good laugh, as usual.

I just wanted to let you know that the "slut" can also be a "good mom."

ELIZABETH: We met when I was 8 and he was 11. We lost touch for six years and then reconnected in high school. We saw each other a few times at school, but that was it.

One day, I was working at a department store. He and his friend came in, and he came over to say hi. He asked me if I wanted to go for pizza. We went for pizza and drove around in his friend's car. We started dating. I didn't know he was also dating another girl.

I found out when I saw them drive by while I was crossing the street. That night, I broached the subject of his dating both of us at the same time. He told me he had broken up with the other girl that night. We dated for 18 months.

In February 1968, he asked my parents for my hand. We married in April. Fifty-one years later, we're still married, and as unbelievable as it sounds, we're still in love. Love has changed with time, but it's never gone away. In fact, it's grown in hundreds of different ways.

We talk a lot, argue a lot and laugh even more. We've decided that we were together in a previous lifetime and that we're destined to be together in a lifetime after this one.

It's been an exciting, disturbing, sad, hilarious, astounding, scary, blissful ride.

Are you a reformed slut? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected] And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay

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