Dear Cheryl: I've been in a committed relationship with Hank for seven years. Prior to Hank, I had a torrid affair with Joe who was married with a child. He said he was unhappy and wanted to make a new start, yada, yada, yada. Joe and his wife had a second baby nine months later. I was crushed.

I met Hank online and we fell in love.

Well, Joe started sniffing around, emailing me, saying he's divorced, his children are growing and he's living with some woman and her daughter. Stupid me, I fell for Joe again, and we started an affair. Guilt and shame made me tell Hank.

He's forgiven me and we're starting again. Now Joe tells me I betrayed him. He says he wants to see me one more time for closure. More like a booty call, if you ask me. How do I get rid of Joe? — Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: If only all problems were this simple: Ignore the cheating, two-timing low-life. You don't owe him anything. And thank your lucky stars that Hank is so forgiving.

Dear Cheryl: I've lived with Daniel for five years. Daniel raised his now-adult daughters when their mother walked out on them years ago to be with a man she's still with. The girls have very little to do with her. When I moved in, Daniel told his oldest daughter, Krista, she had to move out. She was very upset and wrote him a letter telling him she hated him.

She has mood swings and refuses to take her meds. She has only one friend and has only had one romantic relationship, which was for a year, when she was 17. She keeps getting fired from jobs. I've tried to be nice to her, but it's no use. When I discovered I had cancer, she told people she hoped I'd die. Daniel's other daughter, Kelly, has stopped talking to me. I don't know why.

I don't go to Daniel's family functions because Krista makes it so unpleasant. For the girls' birthdays and Christmas, Daniel takes them out along with their mother. Her boyfriend and I are not invited.

Kelly recently got married in Aruba. Daniel didn't tell me until three weeks before the wedding. He paid for plane tickets for Kelly, her fiance, his two kids, Krista and himself. His ex-wife was at the wedding, but not her boyfriend.

The next week, there was a reception back home, but I wasn't invited to that, either. Daniel says he's sorry about the way he handled everything.

I've asked Daniel to talk to Krista. He says he has, but it's like talking to a brick wall. I've started going to counseling because I don't know what to do. — I've Got the (Almost) Stepdaughter From Hell

Dear IGT(A)SDFH: You've got three options. One: Tell Daniel to choose between you and Krista. Be prepared for him to choose Krista.

Two: Accept your second-class status.

Or three: Explain to Daniel that his coddling isn't doing Krista any favors. If she can't hold a job, maintain relationships or control her mood swings, she's not really functioning.

Daniel can't make Krista change, but with therapy, he can change. He needs to see that if he really loves Krista he has to help her become an independent adult.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski