Q: I have a 10-year-old son who always seems to be in a rush to finish any work or activity he is involved in — especially where his schoolwork is concerned. He is very bright and capable of earning high grades, but in his hurry to be the first one done with a test or assignment, he makes silly and unnecessary mistakes that result in his receiving lower grades because of carelessness.

This is very frustrating to my husband and me, and I don't know if there is another way for us to help him realize how serious this issue is as far as his grades are concerned. I have grown weary of his rushed, sloppy handwriting and poor grades. Punishments such as taking away screen time and grounding are not proving to be effective. Do you have any tips as to how we can help him to slow down and begin to take pride in his schoolwork?

A: I loved your description of your 10-year-old son who rushes through all of his work. When we describe young, bright children we often talk about how they learn more quickly than others and are ahead of the typical members of their class. The misconception that so many elementary aged children have is that the first one done is the smartest, and the last one done is the dumbest. I asked one 5th grade boy how smart he was compared to the other kids in his class and after thinking about it briefly, he replied, "I think I'm 5th from the bottom." When I questioned him about how he had come to that conclusion, his response simply was, "When I get done with my work, there are four more kids who have not finished yet." You might query your son on who he thinks the smartest kid in the room is, or how smart he believes he is compared to others, just out of curiosity.

Dozens of young children have given me answers related to the speed at which they complete their assignments. Of course, they really don't usually know who gets the best grades at their age, but they very quickly assume intelligence is based on speed. The timed math tests in the younger grades may encourage the racing, but kids often generalize it to all their subjects. Many children become so anxious when there is a timer set that their anxiety interferes with both the quality and quantity of their work.

I usually ask primary grade teachers to give their classes advance organizers for the speed that is expected. Some assignments should be based on quality and neatness or creativity. Others assignments can encourage children to speed along carefully. In general, for math I like to encourage children to race against their own time to improve it, instead of racing against the clock. I'm guessing that your son is more competitive than he has led you to believe.

For free articles entitled What's Wrong With Fast, and/or What's The Hurry - Pencil Anxiety, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Randen Pederson