Q: Do you have any advice on drawing out a third-grade, shy, introverted and super-sensitive child? She also has difficulty answering questions from adults. She says little and speaks very quietly.

A: Children are certainly born with genetic dispositions toward varying temperaments. About 50 percent of young children who are shy apparently reverse their shyness and become much more outgoing as they mature. Their family environments make a difference. You'll clearly want to remove the word "shy" from your vocabulary when talking about your daughter within her hearing. The more she hears about being shy, the more she is likely to believe that she can do nothing about her behaviors. When you notice her being a little more outgoing or talkative, you might comment to a nearby adult within her earshot that she is becoming much more social. Adult talk about a child (referential speaking) dramatically affects children's behavior and self-perceptions.

A good place for your daughter to learn to start speaking up is the classroom. You can explain that children who don't speak up give the impression to teachers that they don't know their work. You can also say that it really makes teachers happy when their students participate in classes. You can then suggest making a game out of speaking up. You can offer her a star or sticker for each day she answers at least one question in school. She can report back to you, and you can mark the days on the calendar. She can save up the marks and translate them into getting a reward for herself after earning 15 points. If she's extremely shy, you may want to start with earning only five points for the reward.

After your daughter gets reasonably good at answering questions once a day, you can reward her for answering at least twice a day. After she manages to do that, she will develop more confidence, and her voice will become louder. Once she learns to speak loud enough to her teachers, the behavior will probably generalize to other adults in her home environment.

Several other skills can help draw shy children out. They often like to write stories. Encouraging them in these writing experiences and even having your daughter write small books will increase her verbal expression. Once she becomes comfortable with writing small books, invite her to read them to you. Also, ask your daughter to read aloud to younger siblings, cousins or friends. After she learns to make her voice loud enough to read to young children, she could be ready to join a drama or music group. She'll learn that she needs to project her voice in both music and in plays, and hopefully, with gradual improvement, no one will even think of her as shy again.

One last suggestion for a shy child is to involve her in a sport she enjoys. Soccer, volleyball or basketball might get her shouting with joy with her team when they win a game.

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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.