DEAR SUSAN: I'm the single daddy of amazing twin girls. I have them on the weekends, an arrangement that works fine for their mother but not so well for yours truly. Come Friday night, I want some lovin' and am itching to arrange a sleepover with my favorite femme. You say no to the itch. Why? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Bringing in a sleepover sex kitten is introducing trouble and confusion to your little ones. Why, you ask? I throw the question back, suggesting you do the thinking with me. The biggie is, of course, that your playmate — the adult female figure they see with you — is not their mom. That one reason is potent. It alone can be the cause of much confusion in young minds. ("Why is she with Daddy in our house?" "Where is our mom? Does she know about this lady who sleeps with Daddy in her bed?") The questions in small minds are spurred by imaginations that are supersize. Feelings of torn loyalty can lead to crying jags, stuttering and bad dreams.

Your playmate can be the most wonderful friend to your girls, playing Chinese checkers with them and fixing their hair, but she is not their mom. And come 10 o'clock that night, she is seen by all three of you going home. End of questions, end of confusion. Fingers crossed.

DEAR SUSAN: What do you think is the best way to live as a single person? — From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Look around you before ingesting my answer. Whom do you see actually enjoying life as unmarried people? People who are pursuing their interests, meeting compatible people who share them. They are working hard in their line of work and sharing their time with people who are pursuing their passions. The unmarried people who make their singleness incidental are the most content because they release themselves from the slavery of hunting a mate. When they do that, they give themselves permission to roam this big, interesting world with a clear mind — instead of a static, confining mindset that makes them blind to everything besides marriage material.

Do what you can to change your image of yourself from a single person on the hunt. Try this on for size: I am a distinct and unique individual who just happens to be unmarried right now. Take your focus off your marital status, and watch how time frees up for you to pursue what really interests you. Give yourself the gift of free time and a clear mind. Delete dating — not forever but as a trial run. In fact, delete anything that smacks of dating. Try it. You may like it!

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at [email protected].